Long, Cold, Lonely Winter....need A Hug!I am wondering why I am so lonely right now. A few years ago my life seemed to be filled with friends, then one by one they disappeared. We had no conflicts, or disagreements, life just took us in other directions. Some of the problems might be related to the fact that I am also struggling with financial problems, which makes it more difficult to go out and do things as much as a did before.
My children have grown and left home. They are finally coming into their own and I am proud of them. I see them often, and I enjoy those moments. I haven't been in a romantic relationship for almost 3 years. I am a little out of sync in terms of my interests, and the men I meet become friends and then drift away. I am not the kind of person who needs to be in a relationship in order to be happy. I do need human contact, especially hugs & physical touch.
The odd part of this is that I know lots of people. I am part of the local dance community. I used to go to a drumming circle once a week for over 3 years. I still go dancing with friends at least once, or twice a month. Most of my friends are significantly younger than me. I seem to have more in common with people 10 - 15 years younger. The problem with that is that they are in a different phase of life than I am. For one thing, they are just getting ready to start a family and my children are adults.
I am self-employed and I work from home. This is another isolating factor, but the truth is that I like being my own boss. I don't have a car right now, so that limits my freedom too. I also think that winter makes things worse. It seems to rain 9 out of 10 days and the grey skies don't make it any better. (Yes I am taking vitamin D in large doses!).
I am not depressed, I generally like myself, I'm not shy. Perhaps I am letting money problems restrict me too much. I realize that if I have this problem, I must have somehow created it, or that there is something I need to learn from it. I need to shift my perspective and I don't know what I need to change.
All this thinking is probably a waste of time...bottom line I am lonely, I would love to have more friends, I am sad about this and I really need a hug.
Thanks for reading this...
Moonlightdreamer 41-45, F 4 Responses 1 Dec 2, 2010