Stressin

ive never done anything like this before but i dont know where else to turn.. this has never really happened to me so im not sure how to cope with this alone feeling. ive never really discussed my feelings openly with anyone cause growing up in my house no one really paid attention to my problems or seemed to care if i was crying  or hurt  at all so i usually kept to myself. friends were kind of an escape from all my problems. getting friends was never a problem i was very popular but then i made some mistakes and now everyone hates me. no one understands and then  i lost every friend i ever had and i havent had friends for quite some time.  its not my fault things ended up this way i was so loved at one point and now i feel nothin. i feel so empty i have no one anymore, no one to call no one to text no one to chill with. i do nothin everyday i sit alone in my room work out eat sleep thats it. i cant sleep im so irritated and agitated  i need someone in my life. i need someone to talk to someone  who i can open up to someone who will listen and actually show they care i need someone to tell me i matter to them. i hate having no one i hate knowing the fact if i were to leave tomorrow no one would notice or even care. i hate having this hopeless feeling that no matter how hard i try things will never change that i will never have anyone. i might come across as a big tough guy but deep down i need love friendship and affection just like evryone else. i dont know what to anymore