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Legends Of Lamentation #3: Ballad Bomb

K, so you know how in movies and TV, there's some dude who plays a song for a girl and it's OMG totally dreamy and then everything ends up working out nicely?

Doesn't work that way.

It was a few years ago, and I was at the peak of my popularity in my hometown. My short film was gaining huge attention and I was feeling more confident than I ever had. I felt that nobody could resist me because I had everything going for me.

But, just to be sure, I decided to ensure victory with The Ballad-- that timeless romantic gesture that would render the girl I liked into ultimate swoonage. So I wrote a song for her (as a sort of Christmas gift) which was based on her favorite book series (you know, that one with the vampires and the shirtless guy). It is a pretty decent song! Normally it's got all these fancy synths and vocal effects on it but I wanted it to be as intimate as possible, and brought my acoustic guitar to the grocery store where I worked. Because I wanted it to appear casual, I lied and said that I'd come straight from the guitar repair shop and had no time to drop it off at home.

At the end of the shift, I went over the intercom, and dedicated the song to her, then played it.

She turned me down a few minutes after I asked her out. Two weeks later she was dating another co-worker, this big fat guy who has achieved very little in life. As in, he did not go anywhere after high school, he just worked part-time jobs. While I put out a record, got on TV, made a short film...etc etc, lots of cool stuff.

So, my confidence + musical skill + popularity + ambition in life + being in shape + the song I wrote JUST for her as a gift

was inferior to

His buffoonery + no discernible skill + no goal in life + being overweight + not doing anything for her for Christmas.

This concludes another LOL.
heywhatsthatguydoing heywhatsthatguydoing 22-25, M Feb 22, 2011

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