I'm Feeling So Lonely That I Feel Sick To My Stomach.I don't want to be loved for money, I want to be loved for me. Why can't I meet a good lady instead of prostitutes? I've only been loved for my role as a bread-winner, now I'm unfit to work and totally isolated because I am not wealthy enough for a woman with her own job. Women kweep saying that if you're looking for Barbie, keep looking; well its just as true for women looking for extra cash, guys like that don't need dating sites, they go to ***** clubs, hire hookers, have affairs, and do whatever else that their money allows them to do- just like "super-model bimbos" get away with whatever they want, too. Neither needs to be on a dating site, and will not likely be there- but thses dating sites are full of real people that could really appreciate and have the willingness to invest into a relationship, but get turned down for the most superficial reasons, and very sadly, few people ever really hook up. I've virtually given up on the concept of friendship, everybody seems to think that a person has the prerogative of being somebody else besides themself. And long-distance friendships offer very little. This experience project thing seems to me to be the last ditch effort before the plunge into suicide, to me. I don't see how it can help me where I need it. Talking can't help me get out in the world, when there's absolutely nowhere for a guy to go by himself. They few, friends that I have only believe in sex, not love. Honestly, I've never been able to enjoy sex anyway. Probably because my partners loved the money, not me. I wondr if my money ever had an ******? I haven't been held in a meaningful way since I was a very young child. This includes my marriage. She wanted to be married to a guy with a regular job. She got that, but as much as I loved her, she couldn't love.
I've even tried the churches, looking for compassionate people, who according to the bible should be welcoming to the lonely, broken people of this world, only to discover the source of all the superficiality and prostitution comes from the unbiblical stuff taught and practiced in all denominations today. I have only ever felst loved by God, and by the animals that He has created.
I am left wondering if humans even have the capability of genuine love anymore- or does everyone just fake it?
evergreen43 46-50, M 3 Responses 0 Apr 7, 2011