I been feeling lonely a lot lately, also hated, ignored, and pushed aside. I been looking for love again, though maybe I was right and that I shouldn't be doing so. Since everyone keeps leaving me, or telling me to try girls when I tell them I am gay. They dislike me for who I am, I am tired of people treating me this way, I am tired of people always walking all over me. They been doing this all my life after all.. and I feel lonely since I got no one to call my own, to hold, to love. My friends say I should be happy to have friends and that I don't need "love" not sure if that is true. Since I want to be happy, I hate being depressed all the time, though I don't care if no one likes me showing all my feelings. Because I am NEVER hiding my emotions again, it took so long to tear the wall when I was fourteen, also I put this wall back up.. and guess what, I became heartless when I did so. It took two people to tear it down that time, since I was heartless and careless. I have been thinking of hurting myself, like cutting my arms..