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What Do You Know About Being Alone?

When someone says they have no friends the generic response is either to say or to assume that they must have somebody.  They say that every suicide will affect at least 6 people.  I can come up with three names, and I do the math constantly, trying to make sure I haven't forgotten anybody.  And two of those three are family, and the third is someone I don't like nor do I willingly associate with.  Pathetic, very.  So, if these other people, who have people, can claim to be lonely, then I must be the epitome of loneliness.  I feel lonely more than I feel alone.  I am comfortable in being alone, solitude is an introverts balm.  but when the phone doesn't ring for weeks at a time, and you've spent every friday and saturday night alone for the past.. at least year and a half.. That is loneliness.  This is loneliness.  So, if you have even one friend then know that you are better off than me.
QuietlyUnspoken QuietlyUnspoken 21-25, F 53 Responses Nov 5, 2006

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maybe we can be your friend,but don't you know that u maybe would felt lonely too even we became ur friends,because the persons that you miss is not beside accompany you
why ppl would felt lonely? Maybe is the persons that you miss so much is not beside you and I m sure tis is the main reason why do ppl always felt alone

I know how you feel, I don't mind being alone and yes I have a big family but since my mum died four years ago we all have gone our separate ways, I have no friends, the phone never rings and spending every night alone is sad, Its not easy for me to talk to people because I'm shy and people think I'm not interested so it's easy not to try. Other people will say go out and try harder but that's the point I can not do it but suicide is not the answer, been to that point when I was very depressed and am only just now finding that even talking on a site like this helps a little so just keep telling us how you fell and know it will affect us if you do something stupid my friend

I feel the same sort of abyss inside me.

I know how you feel, I've been there and I still struggle with feeling lonely. I'm always here if you'd ever like to chat; I hope things look up for you. x

Dear QuietlyUnspoken: You may not have friends in this world, you certainly have with Jesus Christ. Pray to Him and ask him to come into your life and save you. Whether you believe or not there is a god in heaven that loves you unconditionally. Please dont feel that you are completely alone. He will be your friend. All you need to do is ask Him. I would also like to be your friend.

Life is hard and sometimes it seems like there is a secret that everyone else knows that you don't. But you have to keep trying. Keep putting yourself out there political groups welcome everyone and maybe you will find a friend. Charaties welcome everyone and after you become a familar face you may become a friend. If you are around people joing in a common goal you stand a better chance then in your room alone where no one can find you and maybe see a kindered soul

<p>Most people are NO different than you. if you choose to be cherry be it if not then dont. friends are what you make them.no big deal. </p>

I don't have any friends either; I do have the 2-3 people who become a little more than acquaintances; who you call once a month or every two months to talk about nothing in particular. But if I am really troubled and want to reach out to someone, there's no one, absolutely NO ONE I can reach out to and there never has been. I am 39. All I can advise is, change this so you have a better life.

Do you wanna change that?

I'll be your friend.

alright peopleee ive lost a bunch of epople but you know what i learned? that people die and people are born aand it seems harsh now but no one has the power o turn back the clock right? if any one did i would quit school and prostitute myself to bring back my loved ones but i cant. its happened. the harsest thing is getting over what happened. i promise. it hasnt been a while for me but it is getting better AND IT WILL GET BETTER. dont kill yourslef. dont do anything. because people do care and when they are dealing with the death of a loved one and you decide to join the club and go with death then it doesnt help anyone. it doesnt help society, your family or your future.. give yourselg a chance. DIVE YOURSELF A GODAMN ******* CHANCE ALRIGHT?you could be bigger than youe ever dreamed of or helping so many people which gives you a godamn contempt concience. do something aight? DO ******* SOMETHING EXCEPT DWELL IN THE PAST. WHEN YOU FALL DOWN YOU GOTTA PICK YOURSELF UP AND EVEN IF YOU THIKN THE WHOLE WORLD IS BITHC ABOUT YOU REMEMBER ME...I WHO WROTE THIS COMMENT! i make up a small but still evident spec of the population of the world and im damn proud soo come on.......dont LEAVE ME dont be unfair...i have to sleep guysss....be there when i wakeup! X

I chose not to have friends anymore, everytime iv'e ever had a friend they've tried manipulating me into going places with them that i don't want to go, and then fallen out with me for it. Manipulating me into giving up my time for them when i just don't want to.. <br />
and because of social anxiety i hate going out places anywhere anyway.. <br />
I'm much happier being in the house on my own, only talking to friends over facebook, and not meeting them..

I am a loner cos i prefer my own company also been hurt a lot by people so tend to put up barriers <br />
i got 3 mates but i neglect em they ring me i am always out to lunch!<br />
why is this i dont feel like mixing i only want to be with my cat or go online and talk to my far away man.....some times i think its fear of getting close to some one <br />
my parents are very dominant ,well my dad is and my mothers cold has a polar bears bum she has no warmth she has no empathy yeah they suck.they are not ideal parents they also dont like having any one around has they are anti social.<br />
I used to be the life and soul of a party but know i am like in my shell and rarely come out maybe im just feeling insecure i just hate people who say to me why dont you go out why dont you ring your mates ?

I have the same problem but I push everyone away

sorry about your loneliness everyone. Please know that you are not alone. Jesus Christ is always with you. Pray to God for help, He loves you and cares for you. God bless you all...

ive had a worst life then many of you here .. but what makes me different is i made an organization to bring peace and if i can get a big enough family in the organization i we can do this im 14 and already felt more pain then anyone in the world

I think that being lonely is a choice. I mean, I often feel like you, that I have no friends, no one that I can hang out with or would want to hang out with. But when I think about it, there are plenty of people that I could hang out with. But I choose not to, because I think that either they wouldn't want to hang out with me, or that I have better things to do. And so I am alone. <br />
<br />
It was the same way growing up. I have always been a quiet person, so no one would really talk to me or befriend me. I think that people have a fear of quiet people. Because no one really knows what they are thinking. Perhaps you just need to speak up, and just throw yourself at others, in the manner of hanging out. The problem with quiet people is that we are always afraid that we are going to be judged by others, so we don't voice our opinions because we think that if we don't have anything important to say to just not say anything at all. We don't want to be laughed at or mocked. So we keep everything to ourselves. And people don't talk to us or try to get to know us because they think we are either boring or don't want to be bothered. <br />
<br />
There's plenty of places you could go to meet people and make friends. This being such a place. You don't have to be lonely. Choose not to be.

Actually, I am not alone. I have my friends who's with me. Often times, I tell them my problems and opinions on something. But, something really bother me. I don't know if I can trust them truly. I'd like to think that it's just my sensitivity which I felt like I was left behind. When I thought of these before it doesn't happen, I realized. But when i'm in my mood that those problems are forgotten, again, this feelings of mine are coming out to cause me stress. So, I really need a big space of being alone just to think of many solutions, problems from and what really bother me. Being alone sometimes really help when you are confused.

know one understand me, got no one to talk to as a true firend. it's sad to be me.

This is so strange...I've thought about that alot myself. I've never actually considered ending my own life but I have pondered just who would be affected if I did. Even right now when I'm at my worst emotionally I don't think I could ever go through with it for several reasons. I'm too big a coward....if I failed I'd be mortified...if I failed I'd probably end up losing my job and with the economy like it is and the fact that I'm over 50 it would be difficult to find another one except maybe a Wal-Mart greeter for minimum wage...<br />
<br />
And yes a few people might be saddened but I can't think of one single person whose world would be shattered. Not even my own son, beyond the fact that he is still somewhat dependent on me financially. As he told me tonight, we have nothing in common and he spends as little time around me as is humanly possible. <br />
<br />
The only people whose life would change because of my suicide are gone. My parents. Other than that, there's no one, at least none that I can think of.

i'm lonely too, and i have a broken heart, which makes the time that i am alone...absolutely miserable. im sitting at home, by myself. i live in a really big city, with lots of really fun things to do, and i choose to lay in bed on a saturday night and listen to sad music and think about how lonely i am. my life "outside looking in" seems picture perfect, and no one has any idea how sad and lonely i really am. i live in a big city, with lots of fun things to do, and so many opputrtunties that i let pass me by- all because of a broken heart. i would give anything to move on from this, i just want to be happy again.

I've spent every Friday and Saturday night alone for the last 19 years. I always feel alone but never feel lonely.

I've spent every Friday and Saturday night alone for the last 19 years. I always feel alone but never feel lonely.

Man, that sucks. Maybe you should get a dog or something. You do realize that you're living a self-fulfilling prophecy, right? <br />
<br />
I know how you feel... though not to your extreme. My closest friends have either moved away or become extremely boring, self-centered people. It only gets worse as you get older, I've found. People become more and more entrenched in their own activites and worldviews and aren't willing to empathise with others. But, there's always my wife and my dog, so I wouldn't say I'm lonely.

you ever do those web quizes where they ask you to name 5 close friends and 1 is who you admire, another is your true love etc.? I can't answer those questions. I have acquaintences, but no close friends. and i show them a 'face'. 40 y/o virgin? that's me. but whatcha gonna do?

I seriously teared up reading this. I consider myself to be pretty lonely as well, having no g/f and few friends. I blame myself somewhat, I tend to avoid people but I still share your pain.<br />
<br />
I wish there was a way they could open a club for all of us who are lonely, in real life, so we could all feel whats its like to have alot of friends.

i can safely say that i do have friends but they're more like so-called friends. people who call me only when they need something from me. people who when i call em up just to talk and ask if we could hang out make it seem that it would be inconvenient for them to hang-out. it's like i'll the least person they want to hang out. it's like you have people around you but you know that you're still lonely coz you can't talk...you can't say anything. even with my family, they don't want to hear that my work is hard...like i have no right to complain of being tired. no one wants to listen but when it's their turn, like i need to listen to them and help them. it's tiring. is it me? why am i surrounded by people who don't really care.

Try gettng out in the world and meeting people by volunteering !<br />
There are many causes that might be of interest to you,and you could help the world be a better place.<br />
ps<br />
make new friends<br />
and keep the old<br />
one is silver<br />
the other is gold.<br />
<br />
Good luck.

"u can in the company of friends & never felt more lonely.<br />
coz alone u r alone in your thoughts, thoughts of pain & despair & desolation."<br />
<br />
...that is so true. I'm going through a point in my life, where I do have people around but my thought process has been so out of whack, no one understands & it can def lead to loneliness..there's always that burden over my shoulder, that I think about constantly.

mmmm, I understand being lonely. I'm a single mom of an almost 3 yr old (february), and most of the time it's just me and her. Until recently there wasn't anyone who called to see how my day was. I felt like if I disappeared, no one would notice save my boss - and of course my daughter. It felt like there was no point to being here. I couldn't understand what the purpose was to being here. There was no joy, only obligation. But she's a little older now and I've managed to find 3 friends that check on me regularly. They all have kids - single parents too in fact. And they all felt the same way I did. It took me a year and a half of being totally alone to find them. People kept telling me I wasn't trying - that I was creating my own lonliness. I wanted so smack them. I was trying - it just wasn't working. And eventually, it found me. So I hope that it finds you too.