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Lonely

Hello I am Justin. This is my story about me being lonely alot. Me being lonely goes as far back as high school. When I was in high school, I saw that alot of the people that I thought were my friends would leave me out of alot of things. I would be invited to somethings but most of the time I would be left out. I tried my best to make friends, but it wont work. Even when I was helping out with basketball in high school, I still felt lonely because alot of those guys had girlfriends, that would be there for them, and I didnt. I felt bad about myself. I would question myself about. Asking myself,Why arent the girls talking to me and questions like that. I feel still to this day separated from people my age. I have a form of autism called Aspergers. I am different from alot of people my age, which is fine to me but I would still like to have friends to hang out with. Whenever I get on facebook, I see people that I thought that I graduated with and other people that I know doing stuff with there friends. I feel bad because I am like that person or group of people are suppose to be my friends and it is like that I dont even exist. I have tried my best get friends to do stuff with, but it doesnt work. Even at college, I still I am lonely. Even though I got to do stuff with some people, I still felt lonely. I hung out with a group of guys that I thought were my friends, would leave me out of alot of stuff. An example is going to clubs. They promised me that they would take me but they didnt take me. One guy said that I would be quite the whole time and that I had aspergers. I was like I would get out of my comfort zone and talk to random people. They thought I was an embrassment because I am not like them and I have aspergers. I am different from them, I am proud to be different but I would like to still have friends. Being lonely sucks, but I have learn to deal with it the best that I could. That is all I can do.
That was my story about being lonely. Thanks
superherojustin superherojustin 22-25, M 77 Responses Jul 18, 2011

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Don't give the guy false hope. I'm lonesome and I've heard everything that's on this post before. Sometimes it truly is hopeless because people are just mean, selfish, egocentric organisms that pander to the beauty culture. Don't matter how smart you are, If your ugly or even slightly handicap, you're an elephant man reject. but keep trying.

You need to find friends who respect you and like you for who you are. Don't ever feel lonely because there are so many people in the world that feel like this too. You will make good friends one day, you just haven't met the right people yet. x

me too

Hi Justin, I worked with a lady who had aspergers. I had no idea she had it until she told me. I found her to be a little socially strange at times and very intelligent but she was a good person and I enjoyed her company. I still keep contact with her even though we don't work together anymore. People will like you for who you are if they are worth hanging around. You are important and worthy of having good friends. I am a little eccentric and have had problems making friends my whole life and I realized that there are actually not many people I want to be friends with. I have a few friends who I trust and love and it took me 25 years to find and build these friendships. But it is worth the wait to find someone you actually connect with rather than just having friends to not feel alone.

What i did can be hard because people do the same and sometimes its worse when you try to understand them. But online makeing friends was my best shot but you gotta be worned theres some weird people in the world. I also think you just need to find a person who docent see you as a aspergers guy. You need someone who sees you as a person. When you meet people depending on your level of understanding you may or may not want to tell them you got aspergers at first. get to know them let them get to know you and when you known them for a while then tell them so by that time they see yours not just a aspi your a person.

Justin,

Firstly I'd like to say I know how you feel. Thought I may not have aspergers, I know how it feels to be alone and to be left out.

Though I'm not good at trying to keep positive myself, here's some useful advice. Always remember the most important person you have in your life is yourself. Just take a step back and try to see it as "there are people out there that are worse off than me". And by this quote you should consider yourself lucky. As you have a life of your own, and if you want to be healthy, try to remember that in your life you come first. Try to accept yourself and make peace with yourself first. Once you have found inner peace, then take it step by step and take on the world. Just be yourself and keep fighting and life will grant you with a gift worth more than you will ever know sooner than you think.

You have come so far in your life and always be yourself. Other people should accept you for who your are and if they cant accept it then they may not be worth the time. You have a gift not a curse. You will find what you've been looking for, just take a step back and try to accept who you are.

Much Respect.

Thanks for sharing this, Justin. I feel sad that you are so lonely because you seem like a pretty decent guy, I mean maybe you need to put yourself out there more, you say that even while you're with your friends you feel lonely; maybe its because you're not completely honest with them about how you are. That's the case with me, if I'm hanging out with someone I can't completely be myself with I feel lonely...
Its hard to find unconditional acceptance in friends but you should still look for it because when you are friends with someone who doesn't really care that you have asperger's because you're so much fun to be with, you never feel lonely.
Anyway I know internet friends aren't the same thing as friends in your real life but message me sometime, you seem pretty cool :)

look for a real friend one who are there when you need them,
we all have been lonely in our life `make a plan to find that one real friend they are out there looking for you `good luck x x

meditaion would really help you open up in the way !!

It's okay to be quiet. I notice it's been a while since this post, has your situation changed?

i understand so much of what you said all in one story it spoke to me as if those words were glued together to make one big word. im so glad you love belng different, not changing dont ever change. The right people will come along. I have to Agree about loneliness i feel that alot always and always will. Sometimes i feel my friends dont even know i exsist. But i learned to live in loneliness, i do things for me rather than think of all the things people havent done for me like being my true friend. I think that aspergers or any other disorder shouldnt be a label but rather a differnece that changes the world :)

I know exactly how you feel. And I'm a girl. :P well ya, thanks for writing this

That kind of experience hurts but at least you know that maybe they are not the type of people you should treat as friends because friends keep their promises no matter what. :)

i dont believe aspergers but I fel the exact same way as in on pretty much the whole story, dude. its hard trying to make friend when you have social axiety as well. people thinking you're strange when they bare even know you. I wish things were a little different, you know?

Don't depend on others for happiness. Make it yourself. Take command. Do what YOU want to do. Go after what you like. If someone comes along, fine; if not, keep going. YOU are your best friend. Forget about Aspergers. Live life on YOUR terms.

I know exactly how you feel. Low self esteem or feelings of inferiority happen to occur a lot in people with Asperger's.

In high school I felt exactly like you are describing. Also because people had a rough idea of what autism and Asperger's included, but it was completely wrong. Their definition was: 'A person with autism is a person who freaks out all the time'. And actually that was hilarious. 'So come on guys, let's just confuse and tease that person until he freaks out!' 'Yep, he did it again!'. Entertainment of the day.

They did not see how painful it was to be so confused in the simplest situations, while knowing you were the only one feeling that way. It was incredibly embarrassing and so you tried to hide it and pretend you were 'normal'. Nobody was allowed to know you were lost or confused, because that was not what the 'normal' kids did. But of course one time it had to come out and then you failed miserably, and all your classmates were more than willing to help you on that.

Things started changing however when I went to college. I had to go to college and I thought: Another school.. this will probably not be any different. However it was a special Honors College where the emphasis lay on quality of the lectures and a small scale only stimulated the interactivity. That was true, it was a close-knit community where everyone knew each other and newcomers were accepted and received with almost ridiculous enthusiasm. Their motivation: 'We know what it feels to be new... so all we want is you to feel welcome'. We had an introduction week in which interaction and getting to know each other was stimulated as much as possible. I do not make friends easily, but here you simply had no choice. I got to know so many people and made so many friends! I did the psychology and neuroscience track and those students were very much interested in psychological disorders including Asperger's and very curious about what someone like that would feel like. Of course I could show off all my expertise and they are generally just very accepting of that and even have high respect.

Hence, my advice: Hang on! You'll find a place where you'll fit in... Some people are just late-bloomers. And perhaps you are one of them.

find an interest. geocaching is fun

I understand exactly where your coming from. I am 18 and have been extremely lonely since I was around 14 it has become a way of life for me. I suggest seeing a therapist. That's what I've done to try and help myself but the loneliness is still there. I'm so sorry you feel this way. It is a terrible feeling I know but just have faith that it will get better there is still a lot of life to live my friend.

I don't have your ailment, but I know what it's like to be alone.

There is no known cure for being alone, but I could be someone to talk to when I'm around.

all the message below are very encouraging. I like the advice of Smiling- try it more.

And like many said, don't be sad anymore ok. Lets be friends from now on (:

Have faith in God almighty. Believe me, I am also like you. I have often envied people who get to hang out with others. But now I have made new friends through my prayer house. Also I found that smiling works. You must start smiling at people more. Reach out to people. Don't worry too much about rejection. For 10 people who reject you, there will be 10 people who will love and accept you. Just remember one thing , REACH OUT. and stop the negative self talk. Affirm everyday that you are smart and charming. and soon you will see a miracle happening. cheers !!!

look i know i found this way after it was posted.But i hope things are going smoother. an yeah the Jedinutjob... isn't any where near right. you won't always be lonely and when your not you'll appreciate those ppl more than most ppl an in turn they will appreciate you more than most ppl they call friends.

Wow!!! they are not friends they are judgemental idiots and they don't deserve to be in your presence. Ditch even trying to know people like that. You will find true friends who will like you for who you are. Give it time.Go with your gut feeling and dont listen to jediknight7. By the looks of his comment he sounds similar to those "friends" you mentioned in your story. Take Care

feel free to message me if you need someone to chat to.:)

justin..here is the truth.. people are like birds... if you look at birds outside...do you see the crows hanging around with the robins...? no you dont ! you see robins with other robins...and crows with other crows.... do you get my point... you need to find others with the same or similar problem you have, and hang with them...i bet they are wanting friends like you too....and some of them might be cute girls ! find a group of people who meet that are aspers like you... try .. www.meetup.com

I do not agree. Autism generally is a very broad spectrum, but even within the field of Asperger's there is a lot of variation. I joined a community for teenagers with High Functioning Autism (Asperger's and PDD-NOS) when I was in high school. Most of them however, were guys who spent their entire day behind the computer on World of Warcraft and had no other interests but that. All they seemed to talk about was computer games and it was impossible of having a - of my idea - sensible conversation with them. I however, am a woman (which is already exceptional.. 80% of the cases is male) and computer games were the last things that interested me. I was interested in people (autistic people who are interested in people are extremely rare.. usually they tend to run away from what confuses them. I found it extremely interesting for that reason) and exceptionally empathetic. The whole setting felt so forced. 'Ok, you guys are all autistic. Now let's be friends!'. While obviously the diagnosis of autism was the only thing we had in common...

Instead of finding people with common diagnoses.. Find people with common interests. I found all my friends in the psychology track because they were interested in my story and I was interested in their stories... And none of them actually has an autistic diagnosis.

your not lonley becuase youve got me if that okie with you :)

dont worry becuase your not in this fight of being lonley on your own :) Trust me their are people out in this world full of lonely people in the world and im one of them but

Hey Bambie98 how about adding this lonely man to your circle.

Hi Justin, I've never been diagnosed with Asperger's, but I do know what it's like to be socially awkward and left out of things. I tend to be on the quiet side, so it does making meeting people difficult. Just hang in there okay? Something good is bound to happen.

let's be friends and talk hit my inbox :) hope to hear from u soonest!

Dude, I think people should be more social and actually talk more lately. In this society, people are really dependent on technology (I'm not helping myself by typing online) and I'm glad that we have these interesting people to TALK. YOU KNOW, WITH THINGS CALLED MOUTHS. So shame on them, even if you aren't typically normal and start blabbing all over the place; it gives CHARACTER.

Don't be lonely! Message me for a chat if you're ever in the mood. Don't ever sad because of who you are. You are made to be your perfect self, if some people don't see that screw 'em.