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I Am Lonely

Nice Guy But So Deeply Lonely

By: Dale7777
Written on July 20th, 2011
I am 53 years old. I am so deeply lonely inside. I am great at masking my true feelings and even my girlfriend does not know how I feel inside. I have no friends other than that. I suffered extreme abuse as a child from two older brothers and that has followed me into adulthood and then some. Even though I have had counselling that kind of abuse never leaves you and haunts the back of your memory. At times it almost cripples me. I have trouble relating to males and cannot make male friends due to trust issues. Does any one else have this difficulty. I would like to hear how you handle it.
By: Dale7777
Age: 51-55 , Male
1,017 people have read this story

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4 responses
  • snippy820
    snippy820

    I haven't seen my brothers in 5 years because of their bullshit. In many ways thery should have taken care of me I was 7 when dad died and they were grown but as you can see that didn't work out. I tried for years to have a relationship with them. I made all the phones calls, I traveled back home to see them and this could go on and on but nobody wants to hear it. Now I just go on and I've told my husband if I die he is not to call them. Hell they wouldn't come anyway. Let the people that have caused you grief go and move on and make a great lige for yourself and the ones that love you know. My husband pushed me away for years it took him forever to fully let me in hi heart and he will tell you he missed out on alot because he let the past burn him. Life is to damn short to let someone ruin it for me cause I can probablyt do a damn good joib myself....lol

    Jul 20, 2011
    1 like
  • drummingguy
    drummingguy

    I'm with you, my past haunts me, and it houses a big pile of anger with it. I have a very hard time trusting people. But believe me when I say, whatever you hold inside will kill you. Meaning it will destroy every relationship you have unless you make peace with it. My past consist of my ex girlfriend and my brother, enough said. On top of that I was lied to by my brother. So I've been single for a VERY long time. Everytime I try to stand up, I end up falling right back down on my face, and makes me wanna just sit on my ***.

    When you talk about putting a mask, I wrote a story about that, and that's exactly how I feel. I cover up a lot of my emotions. Sometimes I like that nobody fully knows me, but most of the time I wish someone did fully know me, then I'm scared to let them in.

    So I can say that I know what you feel.

    Jul 20, 2011
    2 likes
    • Dale7777
      Dale7777

      thanks for sharing drumming. You show good empahty. That's a positive side of you.

      Jul 21, 2011
      1 like
  • snippy820
    snippy820

    I refuse to let my past mess up my future When you give it that kind of power it takes over you and it wins. I can't change the past so I move on. I thank God everyday that I can just tell my past to kiss my ***. I have a wonderful life, could use a little more money but doesn't everyone. Don't let the past destroy what you have now. Move forward and love the good woman you have now and vow to protect her fro0m what you went thru. If you choose to suffer still from their abuse then they win, not you. Because you gave them so much power.

    Jul 20, 2011
    1 like