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I Feel Alone And Neglected By My Family....

I don't know how or where to start but for as long as I remember I've always been the odd one. The one who is overlooked and ignored so others can smile. Slowly I tried to push myself to go on... to look beyond the looks and attitudes of people but now it's hit a point where I'm not sure I can do that anymore. I actually felt like I needed to get away from them, even though they are my family and I love them dearly I couldn't stand being around them anymore. Everyday it was the same problems the same looks...the same room and quietness. I needed to get out, and so i did.
I moved to a different continent  thinking that everything would melt away in the distance and that perhaps in my absence they would appreciate and even miss me. How wrong I was... after six months of me living in a different country I got news that my mother was diagnosed with cancer so I immediately flew back to offer her my love and support. She was alone and needed all the help I could give. I was there with her through two surgeries and even though it killed me inside to see her in that state I made sure to never let her know. Whether it was making her laugh or keeping myself busy to the point I had no time to let myself react to what was happening I did everything possible to make her happy. I would cook for her everyday making sure it was something she enjoyed eating... cleaning... you name it I did it. For two months I made it my commitment to be by her side. I didn't leave her side once... I even told friends not to call me so I wouldn't take away time from my mom. All of this... it all came from the bottom of my heart.....but it recently came to light that for her it meant nothing. That the attitude she and the rest of my family had for my since I was a child were still very much present. She told me I did nothing for her... that i was useless, worthless even. At least that's how she made me feel when she tore me apart. Everything went back to when I was a child... the same hatred I had felt was still there... not even because I had shown her all my love and patience throughout this so very difficult of times had she changed. No one had.
Now I am still in her house waiting for the post surgery treatment to start so I can help out with whatever is needed but I feel so alone. Everyone else in my family spends time together... they eat and laugh together but won't call me to join them and when I do it's as If I wasn't. All I'm left with are the walls of my room which although they bring me comfort also bring me sadness and isolation.
monserath monserath 18-21, F 5 Responses Sep 24, 2011

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I have always been the black sheep. My sister and my parents are best friends. They are all very similar in the way they think and it is pretty much opposite of the way I think. When I was younger I felt like you do. I couldn't understand it. I tried, that was the thing. Like you. I really tried.

Getting older kind of sucks, but you do learn a few things. I learned that I wasn't ever going to be fully accepted by three people who have known me my whole life. But that's on them. I like who I am, and I wouldn't want to be in the club, frankly.

I have forgiven them and stopped being angry. Best thing I ever did. Hard, damn hard, but important. Now I just laugh it off. Not saying it doesn't hurt, but it doesn't hurt as bad as when I was younger and before I accepted and forgave - for myself, not for them.

Hang in there.

Well your not alone. Im 13 I always get forgotten. I normally get forgotten to get called to dinner and when I go downstairs and tell my mom im hungry she just says oh well there is no food left cook yourself something and I end up going to bed starving and don't have food til im in school the next day. I had to remind my mom and sister it was my birthday or else they would have forgotten. My dad forgot and my brother heard me tell my mom but he didn't bother telling me happy birthday. Out of my family of 10 only 2 people told me happy birthday and that is cause I reminded them. The only people who remembered were my 2 cousins (who are by the way the only reasons I sometimes enjoy life) I haven't had my birthday celebrated in 8 years and I haven't gotten a single present in those 8 years. Everyone else in my family has had there birthday celebrated so its not the fact I have a big family. The only reason they call my name is to ***** at me and call me lazy and worthless or to tell me to do something. I'm sorry I just had to get it out. See your not alone

i know how it feels to be the odd one for everything...and the saddest part is when your the odd one in your family...You need to be patient although its pain in your heart. Just be yourself because one day you'll find someone that really appreciates and love you<3 (just like us)

thank you so much for your kind words... I'm really glad that there's people like you out there.

I know how you feel right to my heart. I know I have never fit in with my family. The only one who ever tried to know me is now gone. My advice is to leave. Someone will take over what you are doing. You honestly don't belong in a place like that and it will only break you down. Leave now and you will have less pain and regrets. You have done a ton for that family and your mother that they can never repay. If they can't realize it then they don't deserve you because you have to much worth for them.

thank you so much for the advice... I already feel like it's breaking me down piece by piece but I need to hold on because I don't want to look back and feel like I gave up too soon... specially for my mom and what she's going through.

I know how you feel right to my heart. I know I have never fit in with my family. The only one who ever tried to know me is now gone. My advice is to leave. Someone will take over what you are doing. You honestly don't belong in a place like that and it will only break you down. Leave now and you will have less pain and regrets. You have done a ton for that family and your mother that they can never repay. If they can't realize it then they don't deserve you because you have to much worth for them.