Story Of My Life

I used to keep wondering where it all went wrong. Until about five years ago in high school , I was this relaxed, arrogant, impulsive bully with a lot of friends. Now I'm this lonely, stressed, anti-social freak university graduate with zero close friends and flirting with unemployment and bankruptcy. I used to keep wondering that, but not any more.

Whatever I'd done in the past, I'm over it. The big question now, is how to be 'normal' again. At times, I feel like a ghost. I go about my daily life and nobody cares in slightest what I did or how I felt. Yeah well, I suppose the night is darkest just before the dawn.

It's simple - I want friends. Someone whom I can write to, keep in touch with, share stuff. Something that I can look forward to after a long day. I know for sure ,that this is the best solution.

I wonder if anyone else feels like this? If so, add me to your circles. Let's do this together.
LaDefense LaDefense
22-25, M
7 Responses Mar 2, 2012

Yeah.. finding friends "is" the sure way to get out of that.. :)

Being a ghost you should understand this comment: I have stood at a cash register and had people to step in front of me, as if I weren't even there.<br />
<br />
The best thing to be said for being a ghost is, no one will notice that you completely failed at life. For 30 years now, I have been largely ignored. If I offer a solution to a problem, my wife will seek someone elses advice, then act as though I never offered the same solution.<br />
<br />
My children and siblings hate me, I worked until I became disabled, making over $200,000 a year. Most recently, my oldest daughter stated on Facebook, that I have never worked a day in my life and my own brother openly claims the same thing. I drove a truck for 17 years, and own my own remodeling company until last year, I have never been unemployed, but it seems that everyone thinks I have.<br />
<br />

I m not important to anyone.

What about your family?

I am a ghost too<br />
I am nobody's priority and nobody ever thinks of me<br />
Everyone has their own circles but none of them include me<br />
I try so hard - I do all I can to keep in touch. I call and text people all the time asking what they're up to etc. .. reminding them that I exist. But it gets me nowhere. :(

Been there. Well it's not like my 'friends' don't want me with them, I'm the problem. It just feels awkward hanging out with them, don't know why.

My situation is a little different from yours, but at the same time a lot of what you wrote really relates to me. Especially the part about feeling like a ghost. It's weird, I'm out in public every single day, and yet at the end of the day I vanish from everyone's consciousness. It's like I'm the sound a tree makes, I only exist if someone's there.

Hang in there. This phase will end soon i am sure of it.

what makes you "freaky"??

Well its not like I'm unattractive or unpleasant to be around, A few people have even told me I make for a good company and am a really good listener. But, i'd rather be the talker

i was hoping for an unsettling story of debauchery. maybe some sordid acts of violence. but yeah, now that i get your meaning, i understand and often feel the same.
thanks for the story, XOXO

what can i say im widowed write to me i wil reply bye dave i live n thailand im english