Post

Loneliness...

I'm different than most people where I live. I act older than people my own age, but I'm less experienced than people who are older than me. I don't really fit in anywhere.

In my city people my age either party or play it religiously straight-edge. I guess thats a huge generalization, and I could be wrong, but it's more or less my experience. I'm not religious, so I don't get exposed to many people who have fun without drugs, and I don't get much enjoyment from 'partying' with the people around here. It feels like the culture in my city sets the bar really low. I want to get out, but I'm stuck.

I haven't come across anyone here who shares my interests. I'm shy and introverted, so even if I was face to face with someone with similar interests the chances of becoming aware of it are low.

I'd probably be exposed to more people like me if I got good grades in high school and had gone to a good college, but I didn't and now I'm stuck in community college. It's really frustrating, to say the least, and I don't expect to find like-minded people there.

In a lot of social situations, I come off as 'creepily' quiet. Or when I do speak up, I seem 'wtf' weird. At my last job people thought I was some crazy evil dude who was going to go columbine. That was really depressing... I don't exactly blame them, perpetually silent people freak me out too. But honestly, I'm more moral than anyone who worked there. 

I guess I'm chronically shy. The bottom line is that I spend most days alone with my thoughts, connect terribly with the people around me, and have no skill at making friends.

effervescence effervescence 22-25, M 6 Responses May 8, 2008

Your Response

Cancel

I understand what you go through, my best friend is the same way. I basically have to drag him by the ear to get him out of the house. I'm really shy so we get along well and I have no social skills and make everything awkward. Somehow I'm able to make some friends.

You remind me so much of my son when he was your age. Be true to yourself. I see that you're a writer. Don't ever give that up; if it's in you, you HAVE to do it. I was super-shy too... the thing is people do mistake that for aloofness. Quite? Just tell them, "I already know all my stories, so I'm more interested in someone else's." (Which is probably quite true, especially for us writers) So you don't connect easily; that's okay. That just means the connections you DO make will not be superficial. The friends you DO make will treasure you for life. (Oh gosh... my inner mommy came out & lunged at ya, didn't she?) You sound cool... I predict much success & a great future.

I think you and I suffer from the same problem.

I used to be very shy, but moved around quite a bit and learned that I had to open up or suffer the lonliness. Unfortunately I am now what I call a chameleon. I become whatever fits in a situation, not necessarily becoming something that I'm not- just bringing certain characteristics to the forefront that I wouldn't in other situations.



I understand the not fitting in though. I've always related more to adults, but like you said- we don't share the experiences that they do and so we get cast out of their circle.



I also went to a community college for a year- not our kind of people typically. A year there was all I could handle. There's nothing wrong with being weird though. You just have to find other weirdos to hang out with ;)

Reading this really struck home because i was always the quiet one that didn't fit in anywhere at school so people thought i was anti-social. I remember a girl telling me that I seemed like the type of person that would burn the school down. WTF?! so yeah i feel your pain.



To be honest I'm not even that shy, I can talk to people easily, but its making relationships that's hard. Most people already have their group of friends so its hard to make friends as you get older.



I'm in college now and its not community college, but I've yet to make any friends really. I get along with the people at school, but they're just acquaintances, not really friends. I usually don't hang out with them outside school, which is sad to think about, but ah well that's my life.



I'm not sure if you want to take meds for your shyness, but I would try just getting therapy if you can and if that doesn't help then that could be an option. If I had the time(and money) I wouldn't mind getting some therapy.

awww, I'm sorry that you're so shy. when I was in highschool I was also creepily quiet and I imagined that people thought I was going to go columbine on their *****. When I graduated I decided to see a shrink and got on meds for my severe shyness and the pills really have helped me turn my life around. I actually have friends now, it's amazing! I don't know if taking meds is something you'd be down for but if you're desperate you should give it a whirl, or atleast try talking to a shrink. It worked for me! I could tell you that you just need to have more confidence in yourself and try to put yourself out there more but shyness is extremely hard to overcome and some people can't ever overcome it so thats why I'm recommending pills. It is a shame that you're stuck at community college. A drastic change in environment with a clean slate to work on would be good for building up your confidence. Going to college far away from home and getting to meet all different types of people is a sure way to find some like minded people.