Presented With A Choice.
As I travel home next week I will be presented with a problem. Go home, and go back to the same boring isolation cycle that I am happy to be out of currently, or stop in the town that was once my home, lay low to avoid the many people that would like my head on a platter, and see the girl I have been with recently. To clarify, breaking up with my ex-girlfriend all but put up a death warrant on me, and even though I have been with this girl recently, I do not know how I feel about her. I feel as if I miss her, or maybe it is more I miss her company because I am lonely. It seems we barely talk anymore, and if we do it’s about nothing or it’s an argument. I guess that is my fault, as I often do not try to communicate with her, nor am I very agreeable. She loves me, I have feelings for her. I love her, but it’s not the love that I’d sing off a rooftop and she loves me much more than I love her. It doesn’t help that the last time we saw each other, it was a disaster at best, but when we actually get along, Its wonderful. We smile, joke, and laugh, which is often not on the list of things I do every day. If she got to see me, it would make her week. Spending time with her, I’d probably feel a bit less lonely, but I know she and I are not meant for each other. In any case, my heart says to see her, my brain tell me otherwise. I know one should follow their heart, but the feeling isn’t strong enough for me to mentally override the fact I think it’s a bad idea. I’ve been juggling this decision for awhile now, and I have put it off till the last second. I have till Sunday afternoon to decide. Your opinion would greatly be appreciated. Thanks