time, Nobody Really Kn...

I am so lonely at times, nobody really knows this. I pretend that I am someone when I am out that I am not, I put on a happy face and that I have an AMAZING life and that I wouldn't change anything even if I could!! People remark how well I have my life in order and I always say yes, thank you, I'm a very lucky person. Really the only people who MIGHT have an inkling about how I feel are my kids. Children can see through anything!! They know mommy is sad about something but they don't no what. Ironically I get hundreds of compliments of what a great mother I am, well I certainly don't think so, BUT I do know that I have been blessed with 2 incredible children that I not only love unconditionally BUT that I also LIKE who they are becoming. Don't get me wrong I by no means think they are perfect little angels, because as human beings none of us are perfect!! If any one who thinks they are, are somewhat out of touch with reality. So let me give you an example of how *great* I am as a mother. This last Easter, yes 2 days ago, I couldn't sleep so I stayed up until about 5am. My youngest son, chronologically is 11 years old, but he is a young 11 year old emotionally, sort of close to a 9 year old. Well on Saturday night he was so tired that he fell asleep on the living room couch and instead of waking him up and moving him to his bedroom, I just covered him up with 2 blankets and slipped a pillow under neath his head. Well like I said I was up until a very late hour, but I figured I would still be awake before my kids got up so I didn't put any of the Easter things out, I thought I would do it when I woke up. Well my 11 year old woke up before me so none of the easter things were out yet. He came into my room, with tears streaming down his face, I asked him what was wrong and he announced to me that the Easter bunny didn't come to our house. I asked him why he thought that and he said that when he woke up there was nothing left for him downstairs. Now my mind was working over time at this point, trying to figure out what to say. So I told him, since he was sleeping downstairs there was no way the Easter Bunny would leave anything their and that the Easter Bunny probably put his things somewhere else. He obviously didn't believe me and he went downstairs like I had just kicked him in the stomach. I quickly gathered their easter treats together , placed them in a Big Gift Easter bag that I had previously bought and placed them outside of each child's bedroom. I called my mom and told her what was happening, she suggested that I call him up to talk to her and she would suggest that he should look in his room. So she did, he found the easter bag and I thought phew, we got through that catastrophe. I got off the phone to ask my son what he got? He shrugged still looking like his life had been destroyed, Lord he didn't even look this sad when my husband and I told him we were getting divorced. I got off the phone with my mom and went downstairs to see how my son was doing. I asked him what he got and he shrugged his shoulders, so I asked him if I could look at what he got and he shrugged his shoulder's again well by now I fully understood that my son did still believe in the Easter Bunny and I had stolen part of his innocence away. Still trying to recover from this mess, I asked him what was wrong? He told me that he had seen the Easter bags in my room a few weeks ago. So I knew I had to come clean (to a degree and see if I could come clean in away that might allow him to feel that the Easter Bunny still existed). So I told him, that he was right, that what he got from this house were things that I had bought and I further explained to him, that the Easter Bunny unlike Santa Clause couldn't go to EVERY house because the Easter Bunny didn't have Reindeer's like Santa Clause does. So I told him that the Easter Bunny told the parents, where kids like him, lived in two houses, which house he would be going too. So I told him that the Easter Bunny had told Daddy that this year he would be going to his house) so Mommy went ahead and bought some Easter things for him and his brother so that Easter morning they wouldn't wake up to nothing). He stilled shrugged, so at this point I thought it was time to play hardball with him and I said he could chose to believe me or not and that I couldn't control what he wanted to think. Feeling like a total meanie I called my ex and told him what had been happening with our youngest, he said that he too would have thought that by the age of 11 he would have known the truth but he suggested that I wake up my older son and explain to him what was happening, because if anyone could get my youngest out of a sad mood it was my older son. So I woke up my oldest, who REALLY did not want to wake up and I explained everything to him. Well like I said I not only LOVE my children but that I LIKED them too. My oldest son realizing how upset his younger brother was, BOLTED out of bed, went downstairs and started to cheer his brother up. I don't know what he said or did but within minutes I could hear my youngest son laughing and having fun. I was sooooo relieved, despite what he decided to believe or not to believe the *crisis* was over. I called my ex to tell him that his idea of waking up our oldest and explaining to him what was going on was the best advice as our oldest somehow managed to get our youngest son out of feeling blue. My ex said great but now there was one more problem. I asked him what it was, because at that moment all I felt was relief, he said well, now you ruined the Easter Bunny fantasy for our oldest son, not realizing he was kidding and feeling so bad about my youngest son my remark was ***** I can't believe I just did that* my ex started to laugh and I asked him what was so funny, he said he was just kidding and to relax because our 13 yr old OBVIOUSLY knew the truth. I started to laugh realizing that no I didn't just blow up my oldest son's life. Well I don't know what my son decided to believe and I have no intention to ask him. I think in his mind he had 2 choices, either believe Mom and still enjoy the thought of the Easter Bunny, even though it probably wasn't true OR just realize that the Easter Bunny didn't exist and in the end that was OK. Sooooo like I said, I'm such a great mom, that I stole my son's belief of the Easter Bunny due to the fact that I hadn't hidden the Easter bags early enough and allowed my son to see them.
AlwaysRemembers AlwaysRemembers
41-45, F
3 Responses Apr 9, 2007

Bad mom's don't even let stuff like this cross their minds, Yaz a good one! I can tell! I had to laugh at the ex's teasing I must confess. <br />
Have a good one!<br />

Thank you to both of you!! I do still tell my kids that i believe that Santa exists, as in a way i do, I see Santa as a commercial symbol, but a symbol that stands for the real meaning of Christmas, the spiritual belief that their is something BIGGER than us, in my case i believe that to be God. When my son says how can he believe in Santa, as he has never seen him, i tell him that i have never seen GOD, but i believe in him too!!

Don't beat yourself up about this. - you are a great Mom because you actually CARE about this trivia. When you choose to present myths such as Easter Bunny, Santa etc. you KNOW that one day they'll find out. The hope is that they will enjoy believing in the myth and, when they find out, they will be grateful that their parents went to all that trouble to amuse them, whilst still learning the lesson that lies exist in the world and things aren't always as they seem. Also, that if something seems too good to be true, it probably isn't true. It's better that they learn these hard lessons off you (in as fun a way as possible) than that they learn the lessons in a harder way. 11 is too old to be keeping the myth going - I sussed out Santa when I was 4 and have never heard of the Easter Bunny. My parents kept buying me presents from Santa and pretending, in a jokey way, that he existed until I was in my early twenties! I think you should wait until next time (probably Xmas) and then start joking with your son, "of course, there are some people who say that Santa doesn't exist!". See what he says. I would make it obvious that it is all a game but you won't exactly admit it. And make sure he still gets the surprise gifts until he's twenty and is utterly embarrassed by them!