I Most Likely Have Social Phobia And It Makes Me Lonelier Than Ever....</3

yeah I am pretty sure I have social phobia. I've always been shy but as years have gone by I have experienced trauma and hurt mostly from psychitzophrenic ex boyfriend...that is a different story though. But anyways I just feel so depressed and alone in everything. I want company but when around people I freeze up when trying to talk to them and get anxious and just feel like I need to run away. So i've stopped leaving my house. I am lonely alone in my room all day but I feel even more alone when with people and my phobia kicks in. I really wish I had a man in my life....I have Jesus...But lately I don't feel close to him at all and I feel even abandoned by him at times...I'm not sure if it's true or not but it feels that way sometimes. I know a man won't fix my loneliness completely but it would help but I know Jesus is the best and only one who can truly fix me and make me feel like I am not alone.....I am grateful though for my therapist. He is someone and the only person I can talk to about my feelings and loneliness and he understands and makes me feel a lil less lonely than I would otherwise but sometimes it's just not enough.
stephybear1990 stephybear1990
22-25, F
3 Responses May 15, 2012

I am currently 20.951 and even though people may say I have't been living lone enough, I have felt the depths of loneliness. I am very well educated, have a good job but I have always been lonely. Never really had friends, never really dated and I now spend most of my times locked in my room seeing my clock count down. The truth is people die alone, it can happen, there isn't someone for everyone and I feel like I am meant to be alone. I sometime explain my loneliness by telling myself I am a monster. I have to be a monster in a dyeing body to feel this level of loneliness. Strangely I don't think I will ever find happiness and now I crave the depths of loneliness. Just know there are millions of people out there that exactly know how you feel. I hope you find some kind of happiness, even though I wont find any, makes me happy to see others find happiness.

I feel for you. I was in your situation once. Please email me if you would like to talk.

I am like you, i feel so lonely and i am afraid of being around people. I don't know what to say to them. I have a boyfriend but i felt lonely because he just got promoted to be a manager and i hardly see him at all. I lay in my room whole day long as though life have no purpose. On top of that I am so jealous of him because he got so successful while i rot away. Let us both get closer to god, trust god and he will reveal our calling to us. Don't let the devil make us feel lonely or get between us and god. Have faith in jesus, he will always gives us the best :)