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Endless Days..

empty days and empty nights summer days are the worst , so long with nothing to do and noone to do it with.... noone can say they are lonely unless they have spent endless months and weeks with nobody, sure my brother calls once a week, but he lives 160 miles away, and now the bf is not in my life that much its even worse , its a gaping empty hole of loneliness. i never thought life would be this empty, am i a worthless human being unworthy of a husband, children, a few good friends i dunno i must be if my life is this lonely.....
psychicprayer psychicprayer 36-40 7 Responses May 19, 2012

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ha ha toots my dearest i now have visions of you headbanging with long hair " black metal" yes its more of a male genre of music. celibate ? honestly? how long may i ask ? if thats not too personal a question. why do you choose this life of solitude toots? its easy to diagnose yourself with the info online . but its always important to get a diagnosis too , schizo-typal or schizoid? there is a marked difference. but i guess i could not tell by just reading a persons post. i am pisces too and the natural psychic medium stuff does strike chords with me, although you know most people never do develop their abilities even if they are natural mediums. sorry about your mum alzheimers is such a horrible thing i would not wish it on my worst enemy!.me schizo-typal mmmm no just had a bad time unfortunatley with choosing the wrong men to fall in love with, one day my prince may come and i will have those hundred babies i desire ! maternal clock is ticking away tho, i say wait for the right person before having children or you end up like me estranged from them , but if everyone waited the human race would be almost extinct by now!

hi toots, yeh am definitely not gonna be reeled into some govnt back to work scheme am currently on incapacity benefit anyway so no rush to go back to work as yet.i know enough people paying high taxes to keep me, and when i finally do enter the work force again it will be for the next twenty years , i already worked for fifteen so a few years break during my mid life crisis cannot harm noone. also am agoraphobic, which i put down to the fact i was an anchoress in the middle ages and spent too much time confined to a small cell. lol no its just my theory and thats why am suffering in this life . yes the writing does sound appealing i was thinking more along the lines of childrens stories though but i know how hard it is to get published so even just the enjoyment of writing is positive, even without recognition xx

ha ha toots , childs play indeed! thats how i should percieve it cos thats how hes behaving, troubled passive agressive emotionally unavailable man. no i am no writer, thats "pauls" department am trying to get him to put himself out there and get some of his stuff published hes very good, it may save his brain from taking a permanent soaking. so what with my "chucky " doll so called lover and my "korsakoffs" childs father i have my hands full fighting both their bloody causes ! <br />
is tesco close to your land? do you see it as trespassing when they do trespass?it would drive me insane people intruding in that manner why do people take liberties against single entity people because not only are they trespassing on your land they are also trespassing on your soul!its awful i know! when you go out in public? is that rare? at least tesco is open twenty four hours so you can venture out in public nocturnally. ....

toots hello you! you have been away for a while? no i know a true psychotic my daughters dad he drinks to excess been spending some time with him recently and well people like him could make the human race obsolete! end of my tether not been writing much only miserable stuff as you have gathered! and ken well ken has just broke my heart as they all do i need to be on a desert island away from everyone, and my desert island disc would be called "standing alone" life is not good right now, my daughters dad being the landed gentry , keeping my daughter away from me with the assistance of his dad, and my so called lover , partner thinks am playing away with "paul" but when in fact am trying to save him from total oblivion before the constant inebriation kills him....

for me what is worst is to do things i use to do with another standing by me or with me that was asking why and how come but yet she had no problem getting her hand dirty to work on her car or her bike my second love was pretty much the same way before she was killed<br />
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we evenhad started a small company and we were starting to do good and every job she was on the surface working my air line and helping me <br />
now it is just flash backs to how i could not safe her

thanks jview you know you are right life is cruel sometimes and has for the fact we have a massive population in this world i think we all should have at least 2 or 3 constant people in our lives.

i understand how u feel sweetheart

Me too.