Cynical? Rather.

I am very used to the company of myself. People disappoint, are unreliable, fake. I spend most of my time alone and over the years I have slowly became more comfortable with it being this way. I suppose the way I see it is that for every person you count on, that is another weakness. Another area that can be exploited. Granted I understand that people have a lot to offer, humans are social creatures. The greatest pleasures come from people. But also the greatest disappointments. The betrayals. The artificial, as the lie blatantly in front of you. As they take the lies and shove them down your throat and expect you not to notice, all whilst hiding behind this wall of reason, of "nobility" so that they can make themselves feel good. Convince themselves that what they're doing is right. 

I am not sure at which point of my life that I started to turn into such a cynic. Sure there are a few good people out there, but the question is are you willing to dig through all the muck and dirt to find a few pennies? Over the last two or so years, I learnt the lesson that "Nice people aren't necessarily good, and good people aren't necessarily nice." and I have been unfortunate to have met a few of the former. They say you should not let your previous experiences of people taint your new ones. But I honestly, don't care anymore. Just give me a dog, at least I know I will never be disappointed. An animal with no other motives than just to follow its instincts. Something that I can trust.
innoc3nt innoc3nt
18-21, M
2 Responses May 19, 2012

I wish I could tell you what I should, that those few pennies can be worth all the dirt, but the truth is that it is exhausting trying to find good people, most people don't care about many more people than themselves, and it's hard to get them to get to care about you.<br />
<br />
But I can say I hope one day you find a penny, at least I think I try to be the best friend I can, though I know sometimes (well, maybe more than that) I fail.

It's exhausting digging through dirt to find pennies, and true about nice people not necessarily good, and vice versa. You definitely need a dog, so do I for that matter. They are loyal and true, and accept you for who you are, and as you are. I do wish to God most people were the same. <br />
You sound more like 40 than 18. I guess some life experiences make us grow up pretty fast.

Yeah I feel so old and out of place to be honest.

That is sad, innoc3nt because you are so very young.