Time Flies

Tomorrow is my son's birthday. He would have been 5. He is not here anymore. The hardest part is not being able to share how sad I am with the people around me. I hide my feelings. Why? I don't know. I miss him, everyday. May is especially hard with mother's day and his birthday. What do you do when your heart is constantly breaking and you feel the pain over and over again. None of this pain is going to bring him back.

People around me act like nothing happened. I know he was my son so my loss but still. One lady asked me didn't this happen a while ago? This was one and half years ago. That statement hurt me the most. So i'm just supposed to forget and move on like nothing happened. I will still feel the same way be it ten, twenty years from now, till I die. People can be so cruel, the sad part is they don't know. I have learned to put on a happy face and pretend till I get home. Doing this for the rest of my life makes me feel tired, pretending takes a lot out of you especially when you have no choice.
realpurp realpurp
26-30, F
1 Response May 19, 2012

I am so sorry I was not here to share your life when it was your son's birthday, but know that HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH and wants to hug you all day everyday. "Everything we love, who loves us in return, never dies." George Anderson. If you Google him and thoroughly read his work, you will feel better. I promise. <br />
<br />
I am so lonely and feel so inadequate. I feel that I need my parents here to remind me that I am loved and not what some of the people on this corporal plain want me to believe I am, I read his work. Not specifically to me, but to others. He has some books, the best being "Walking in the Garden of Souls" , that renew my spirit. <br />
<br />
Your son will never leave you. He helps you more now that he would breathing earthly air.