Lonely At Fifty

Ive turn fifty this year never was in loved but thought my friends would always be there I was wrong.Seems like Im there for them and always have been but  came to  realization that they where never there for me.Why did it take me so long to wake up?Now Im alone and dont know what to do; its been 2years since I hung out with a friend. I feel like my mental health is in danger and there no one who care and i dont know what to do, Now that i have not socialize in a while it hard to be with people and even harder being alone.How do you start over at 50?Im loyal,honest and hardworking and independent so why is it so hard dont know if it worth it.
bart451 bart451
5 Responses May 20, 2012

Can so relate to your experience concerning so called friends, Bart. I am in my 50's and though I've remained loyal and loving to all, I've recently come to the shocking conclusion that many people I regarded as my dearest friends are no longer there for me.What's worse is the realization that they may really have never been. It truly is a devastating feeling that has me questioning my worth as a human being. I don't know what the answer is. I do think BluOmni and Jview's suggestion to get a dog is definately worth a try. I myself already have a dog and she is an angel who's been with me through thick and thin, but is getting up there in years and the thought of having to replace her is too much for me to contemplate right now. I know that she certainly has,in the past, helped me to get out and connect and feel confident and alive. What Blank29 wrote rings true- we all can be a source of support and comfort to each other here. Please know that I am here for you,as well.

Hi, I think this is a fear many of us have, it's painful to realise that you invest more than others want to. It is hard but not too late to start over, and the best thing I can think of is as was mentioned by bluOmni, find a hobby or a passion that excites you. It will naturally you draw you to like minded people and those who truly want to connect and will value you for who you are.

Bart.... The best thing you can do is start a hobby somewhere and also get a dog from the pound. Most communities have hobbie classes at rec centers or at churches or schools.... Some community college classes you can take are also helpful.... You just gotta stay open... And be friendly. The only reason why I am not doing the same is because of my disability. Start looking into these things... I am assuming you have a job right? If you have insurance (and even if you don't you can be signed up for state help), find a therapist. It helps. I am very serious about the dog... Btw.

I'm sorry that you feel the way you do. I have 0 friends at the moment and am having emotional issues; it's a scary and sad place to be. If you want to talk to somebody privately, I am here, and I know there are a lot of other people on this site that are here for you, too.

I know how this feels. It is hard to realize that you thought you had friends only to discover that while you were a friend, they just considered you a convenience. I have had people like that in my life.

I notice these comments were posted months ago. I hope things are better for you now. I am experiencing the loneliness also. I seperated 3yrs ago and dont regret it at all. Have three sons and the last one moved out about a month ago. My friends desolved when my marriage desolved because we shared the same friends. Im a 50yr old female, laid off of work, depressed and lonely as hell. My sons suggest a hobby, dog etc. but nothing takes the place of that human touch. It has to get better or I think I'll die from loneliness...