Sigh

Break ups are never easy but you have got find your strength if not for you, then for your children. Give yourself time nothing lasts forever not even pain. Try to smile even when you don't feel like it! And don't cling on to a bad relationship.

Dear Sigh,



Things are changing for you right now and you can decide to be in charge of them or wait around and let them happen. The thing is, you're a whole person and not a victim. If you're wise enough to recognize what doesn't work in you're relationship, then you're wise enough to know you are complete within yourself. Still, being with others is a natural need. So if you want to establish good relationships, you must go where your interests will find them.



What interests you? Do you like to read, sew, garden, read romance novels, cook, skydive, play sports, hang with people who like to barbecue? And what would you like to experience? Try something new. You'll find worlds out there and your options will expand beyond your imagining. Anything you like to do or would like to do is a shared interest of others, the trick is to find them. And if you can find them, you already have a positive a common interest. And sometimes it's just fate. I saw you "sigh" and realized I've been where you are. The difference is I'm a man. But we're both human and you sound like you need a lift. You can do this. You can be perfectly happy by creating the life you like. Dare to decide what that is.



Don't go to a bar. Go to Craigslist and look for the groups. Be careful though. Don't give out a lot of information to the first person you contact. There are a lot of other places you can find special interest groups as well.



Let's say you like sailing and you live near the water. Lots of people like sailing, have nice boats,and also have a lot of friends who say they want to sail but never show up. They would love to meet you. If you like to read, Go on-line or directly to the library and you'll find postings of book clubs. You may like romance novels (lots of women in those groups) or you may like camping, or fly fishing, or old movies. If you want to hang with people who are working and raising kids, you'll find lots of those too if you look.



Being lonely is different from being alone. No matter what your interests are, you'll find people. But it's always good to think about why your last relationship didn't work. There's a lesson there and you need to think about it. Don't take the blame, just realize is can't be undone because time can't be reversed and it's best to let things go rather than dwell on them. But think about it just enough to avoid your flaws or the attractive flaws of someone else and waste anymore of your time.



Your kids need you and being self absorbed over romantic relationships hurts them. Get interested in something you're interested in and seek out others who are interested too. Relationships happen. But you have to allow yourself to be attracted to others who fit your interests and lifestyle. Good luck.



JH Gordon

author of

Joe Detective

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/146139