Feeling Alone For Most Of My Life
I am feeling very lonely today. Anytime I have time to think I think about how lonely I feel. I don't have family near me and am still single and in my early 40's and have never been in a relationship. All my siblings are married and have kids and I don't have anything in common with them. I am closest with my Mom who is in her 80's and when I think about the time when she will pass away I feel awful. I have one friend from work that I see occasionally but feel extremely isolated. I don't feel that anyone really KNOWS ME! I try to ease my lonliness by eating too much, drinking too much and doing anything else the numbs the pain. I feel like I am going through a midlife crising at this point. I have stopped going to church and am feeling very alienated from God. I got a dog and had her for a week and then I got cold feet and had to give her away. I look at other people and wonder why can't I be like them with family and friends doing fun things together. I wonder what I will do when I retire and who will look after me in my old age. I hope this gets better because I don't think I can get through the rest of my life like this!