Lonely and Bored

I Am So Lonely.

I think it may be a midlife crisis.  I  never feel like I can connect with people. No matter how nice I am or how hard I try, I have so few people in my life. I am a little shy. I am not very outgoing, but I try. I send emails, cards, flowers to people because I am showing an interest in them. No one really responds to me the way I would like. I am bored. Really, it would take so very little to be happy. People to talk with and a friend to do fun things with. My three daughters are grown and gone. They have their own lives. Now what?

Cassandra

Cassandra Cassandra
51-55, F
13 Responses Apr 16, 2007

I hope you find happiness and love. You deserve it!

I understand. I'm going through something similar.

Friends or not friends...
I Think before you start looking for friends you need to know yourself better. Find some activities that you enjoy and give you pleasure and start getting busy. Volunteering, Travel, etc. Middle age is not bad. Is that time of life you can enjoy yourself and all the things you never had time to do before. Wish you the best of luck, if you wish mail me ;)

Well Cass........may the next 50 be the best yet then!!!! lol<br />
<br />
I volunteer at the animal shelter which really does bring me joy.......it's not the people i'm there to meet, i'm only there for the animals............it's like my home away from home. and yes if i'm overly anxious that day, it's ok......i'll go tomorrow....:)

Smokeseek,<br />
<br />
Yes, I have been meaning to do that. I have been procrastinating. I have anxiety and sometimes get overwhelmed. But I think it is a great idea. I am passionate about so many things.<br />
I think I know what is going on with me. I think I am a little burntout from my first 50 years. lol <br />
Thanks for your advice.<br />
Cass

I can identify with you feelings. A lot of good things were already suggested. Have you tried volunteering at a cause you support to meet other like-minded people?

I have let go of some people in my life.<br />
This is okay. I noticed that when going through difficult times, I felt no support. The people that seem to truely care are still here. All is well. And I agree. Some people are more introverted or loners. And that okay as well.<br />
I like to at least communicate with people I care about.<br />
I don't have to always be busy doing something.<br />
Thanks again for reading and sharing.

There are great friendships waiting to made here Cassandra. Since I posted on you story (one of my first comments after coming to EP) my life has changed dramatically. I've met some great people who have turned into just the best of friends in real life and most importantly I have met the woman of my dreams. This place is a gateway to a world of possibilities. All you have to do is put your thoughts out there :)

Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts.<br />
All really good advice.<br />
I haven't been here for awhile and just checked in.<br />
I am understanding myself much better these days.<br />
I still struggle to find my place in life. Practicing acceptance of where I am for now. lol

I understand everything said here. I have just permanently lost a woman I loved so much but it was unrequited. I can't stand the pain, don't know how I'll move on....

When you get to be a little older, it takes much longer to develop friendships. People are busy with their own problems and relationships. Don't give up! Nobody really needs a gigantic circle of friends. A few close ones are much more valuable. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a bit of a loner or alternative minded.

I feel you loneliness, you seem like a really nice person cassandra and it is to bad that no one really want to develop a personal relationship with you. I have the same problem, I cant seems to find good people in my life either sometimes I feel like I have to go the extra mile and talk to get to know that person but sometimes it like they do not even want to be around me, i dont know whats wrong with me either, I long for connections and close personal relationship, but I never get it. Some times I feel invisible like I do not even exist.

I get lonely and bored sometimes too. Like you i do not have a lot of friends, but the ones i have i cherish and they treat me as well as i treat them, so it must be hard when u do something nice and it's not acknowledged. Personally i would dump all those people and look for a better quality of friends, because they really do exist, even if it feels like they don't. I don't remember the exact saying but i do believe it to be true, so i will try to get the point across. *When you stop looking and when you least expect it, that's when it's happen* something like that anyway. For me it has rung true, the HARDER i tried to meet people the harder it actually was and when i just relaxed it seemed easy to meet people. Maybe that will work for you, i hope so. Hang in there when u least expect it, it all comes together!!