Im Quite Sadim depressed and very lonely
i dont know what to do, 2 years ago i made the mistake of dating my best friend, Rae. she was my first girlfriend, and she had been my only true friend i can remember.
i did something very stupid and i lost her
the break-up was pretty bad, i almost ended my life a few times
we stayed friends for quite a while considering all that had happened
i had my little circle of friends that i had introduced to her and together drama and bullshit ensued
she had a heart condition that was worsening with the added stress and she couldnt handle it any longer so her mom had her move to utah with her father. i would have to say it was around this time last year she stoped talking to me. probly more towards july but i digress,
its been over 2 years since we broke up and as a direct result of it ive lost the few left i considered close
im at my last straw, im the kind of guy that has deep emotions, yet i cant share these feelings unless im talking to someone like her, or in her position, a girl who is very close to my heart. i would never be able to tell another guy how depressed and lonely i am, he'd tell me to **** off im killin the mood.
after i broke up with her, a girl i sat next to in biology felt bad and we got to talking.
and we ended up fairly close to each other. but she moved to washington after that school year and she stoped talking to me a few months ago cause of her fiance.
i feel so alone, day to day i put on this happy act for my family and without talking to any one about anything that hurts, im losing my sanity
i had turned to smoking weed to relieve the stress but my tolerance has grown to a point where i cant get high without spending a fortune.
i dont know what i expect to gain from writing this, i wish i just had some one to talk to, i miss her so much