Am I Just Being Selfish?

I realize that I have people that care about me; I can honestly name at least 10 people that would cry if I died. But I just can't seem to fully accept it. There's always some part of me that's scared to get my hopes up, thinking that they'll stick around; there's always that little voice inside telling me that it's too good to be true and that something will come along to ruin this for me. I have all these good things in front of me, but I don't want to reach out to them in case they suddenly disappear.

So I decide to distance myself from them. I make sure that I don't give too much of myself to anyone. No one knows the real me. I'm insuring that I have low chances of getting too hurt, but I'm hurting myself in a big way anyway by cutting myself off from love and support.

Am I just being selfish? Is the pain I'm causing myself to avoid getting hurt by others worth it? Or is it better to risk getting hurt by others so that I can be happy with myself?
behindthefacade behindthefacade
18-21, F
2 Responses Jun 16, 2012

Unless someone explicitly shows themselves to be untrustworthy, you should assume they are a decent enough person. And treat them with the reasonable amount of trust and accept their friendship and support. <br />
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Why are you so afraid of "being hurt"? What do you think will happen to "ruin it"? What have these people done to you? <br />
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Nothing?<br />
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Then you should treat them normally. <br />
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If you have been burned in the past, well, that's life. People SOMETIMES do betray your confidence. Doesn't mean you have to give up on humanity. <br />
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Cutting yourself off from people doesn't protect you, it makes you even more miserable. <br />
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Take this analogy. Avoiding ever being hit by a car or struck by lightning can be accomplished by locking yourself in your house and never going outside. But is that how you want to live? No, cause that is a case where the cure is more damaging than the disease. A disease that, I'll add, might not even actually happen.

It is likely that the pain you are avoiding, you have already felt, in the past. If you can remember that pain and feel it fully, new relationships won't stimulate the body to remember. Then the risk of dissappointment decreases markedly.