Am I Just Being Selfish?I realize that I have people that care about me; I can honestly name at least 10 people that would cry if I died. But I just can't seem to fully accept it. There's always some part of me that's scared to get my hopes up, thinking that they'll stick around; there's always that little voice inside telling me that it's too good to be true and that something will come along to ruin this for me. I have all these good things in front of me, but I don't want to reach out to them in case they suddenly disappear.
So I decide to distance myself from them. I make sure that I don't give too much of myself to anyone. No one knows the real me. I'm insuring that I have low chances of getting too hurt, but I'm hurting myself in a big way anyway by cutting myself off from love and support.
Am I just being selfish? Is the pain I'm causing myself to avoid getting hurt by others worth it? Or is it better to risk getting hurt by others so that I can be happy with myself?