Disheartened and Lost

Surrounded by people, in a big city, sometimes I feel so alone. I am not sure of which direction to go or how to do better. I try but feel so empty. Connections with others begin then fall. I have friends and family who I know are there for me. I have experienced love, but too long ago now. I am now left just with myself and wonder why I continue to fail and wonder what is wrong with me. I feel so confused
shar shar
31-35, F
5 Responses Apr 20, 2007

My heart goes out to you all.

I know that feeling... being surrounded by people but feeling a long. I'm sort of a loner and for a long time I was quite lonely. I tried to "runaway" from my loneliness and the more I tried, the lonelier I felt. So I accepted the fact that I was lonely and decided to deal with it. It was quite hard at the beginning. Idid the things I wanted to do like going to the movies alone, went to Starbucks to read, take walks. I started feeling better and happier. The better I felt, the less lonely I was. I smiled more and felt more comfortable with myself. I guess people noticed because, almost without trying, I started making new friends to go out with again. Since have improved a lot since then. <br />
Do the things you like and look for activities that may help you meet new people like going to the gym, learning a new language, etc.

It is hard to be a loner, I wish I was not like that but I am, I have family, church, and my sisters and I still long for that closeness in friendship that I desire, I sometimes dont know if I am a likable person or if it is just fear or rejection from others. I hope you feel better and try not to isolate yourself, it is not good to be alone.

I've been in your situation, lived in many Big Cities and find myself now in a small community. Regardless of where you go your loneliness will follow... if you choose it too. <br />
I find now that looking back to a moment in my childhood I became scared of putting myself out there. In the instant a childhood friend decided that my sister was more fun to be around than myself. The feeling of rejection and despair overwhelmed my small mind at that moment and changed me forever. Unfortunately it might not have been so earth shattering if the following years were not more of the same. So since that time I have felt like the outsider, I find it hard to truly connect with others, thus I am alone. I became a social drinker, drinking took that fear away and I was able to be that likable person, outgoing and personable, someone that people want to approach. There is nothing wrong with you, your confusion lyes within your own mind. When focusing too much on whats wrong with us we create this false idea of what others are thinking and this leads to turning that false idea into a reality. Was there a moment in your past that let fear overwhelm you?

It is such a terrible feeling to feel that way. Are you feeling any better.<br />
I spend a lot of time by myself, I have almost gotten used to it. But would really just like to get a life and have some fun.