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I Am Lonely

Something Is Missing.

By: Rachel6070
Written on July 4th, 2012
Well, this is my first post. I've been a bit hesitant to put my own story up here as I am typically a very private person. But I figured it can't hurt!
I have never been one to need a bunch of friends, or get invited out shopping or to parties, or to always have a boyfriend by my side. I've always been very happy on my own. As long as my family is happy, I'm happy.
But lately after moving to a big city where I don't know anybody, it's starting to get to me a bit. I'm so extremely grateful to have such an amazing family, and I'm very close with my mom, but I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't have any genuine friends that I can count on or trust.
The people I work with are all a lot older than me with husbands/wives/kids so I can't really relate to them.
I just feel like there's an emptiness inside. It's strange having many people that you can call to hang out with, but none that you can actually trust. Not to mention even if I wanted to, I'm too far away and too busy with work to meet up with old friends anyway. Which leads me to my next problem, I can be extremely awkward in social situations, so even if I do come across younger people at work or something, they'd probably think I was weird anyway. Ah well.
By: Rachel6070
Age: 22-25 , Female
171 people have read this story

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7 responses
  • vanhelsin
    vanhelsin

    I take it as captured in negativity, for real, not in just imagination. A hard thing for me too.

    Jul 28, 2012
    1 like
  • tiommi
    tiommi

    "Missing something"?and you can't tell what it is?like some missing piece of a puzzle,which,if found would clear your mind?Ever considered anxiety?This is the third time I'm writing this(obviously to different people),but festering a mental woundillness can be dangerous.I mean,one shouldn't wait till the situation becomes dire enough enough to consult a doctor.

    Jul 10, 2012
    1 like
    • Rachel6070
      Rachel6070

      Thank you, I thought about what you wrote, in the other comment below as well. I've always had some social anxiety, but lately there are times where the anxiety seems to continue on even when I'm by myself. You mention the scary "d" word. A few days ago I realized I might have gone through a 3 week stint of that. The reason is because I've felt lonely for quite some time but never really let it get to me until recently. It's true, what didn't matter to me much before (or so I thought) seemed to be highlighted.

      Jul 12, 2012
      1 like
  • Soloviento
    Soloviento

    thanks for sharing your first story. Personally I sympathise (probably I misspelled it, English is not my mother tongue) with you. I have no problems being alone, I fact I tend to be a loner, but sometimes I cannot help thinking that I am missing something for not having enough relationships with other people. Accepting yourself is an everyday task.

    Jul 4, 2012
    2 likes
    • Rachel6070
      Rachel6070

      Thank you and you're right. Quality over quantity, but it sure does feel a bit empty at times.

      Jul 4, 2012
      1 like
    • Soloviento
      Soloviento

      sure it does, that's the price you have to pay

      Jul 4, 2012
      1 like
    • tiommi
      tiommi

      Sometimes when I get a bout of depression(i'm not saying that you are depressed,just giving an example),i tend to think of things hidden deep inside me,but after a good sleep,those very thoughts seem quite impossible/stupid.It doesn't mean that they(the aforementioned thoughts) are not there.When we are not depressed,(again ,i don't mean to imply that you are depressed)we tend to overlook this disease,but that doesn't mean,it isn't there.So while on a good day,you might be ok with being alone,but that is like living in denial.

      Jul 10, 2012
      1 like