I Find It IronicI to sometimes feel (like right now) the same as the people here. I used to be a person that didn't fake being happy and could brush off anything...but lately things have been coming down hard and fast that it becomes overbearing and I no longer recognize myself. I lost a close friend of mine who I considered a best friend, she was a great girl and I adored every moment we spent together, but she began increasingly becoming distant, rude, and just plain disgusting to me that I just could not take it anymore and had to let her know....I also thought of asking her out one time and she completely laughed in my face and said "that's not even believable!"
I know i'm not a good looking guy and I didn't expect her to say yes. I just wanted to see if the girl...the best friend that I once knew was still in there somewhere. Well I guess I got my answer. I pray that shes happy and find all that she wants in life, but I lost the last person I hung out with... Not only has my confidence decrease dramatically, but I don't even wanna look a girl in the face (I was feeling like this way before my friend) I am a pretty lonely guy especially when I am known to be very social...I still have confidence in anything else. There is nothing a person can say I can't do...but with women...it a completely different story. For those who don't know women can be just as cruel as guys can...Trust me I know...but upon coming here I realized that we are not as lonely as we think (in a symbolic way perhaps) as there are over 5000 ppl who are going through the same things that you and I are...Keep your head up ppl!!!
and women.... I've read some of your stories and you queens need to stop letting these asssholes out there tell you how you should feel...you are beautiful...in fact I believe most women are beautiful in some way...but many lack a decent personality(like my friend) for some reason or another...it could be because of their own low self-esteem, past experiences, childhood, or whatever. I know for a fact that my friend had self-esteem issues and I would constantly call her beautiful, a sweetheart, laugh at her jokes, and constantly praise her...but it obviously did nothing but bring me pain in the end...but God works in mysterious ways...because at that moment I was shown what I would have to deal with if we actually did get into a relationship...isn't that ironic?
If there is something you don't like about yourself... THEN CHANGE IT! It really is that simple...but that doesn't necessarily mean it's easy to do... as for me? I don't like the fact that I am out of shape.... so I started to go to the gym and diet...I don't like the fact that I am not making enough money to live independently...so I went back to school to get my Masters in Computer Software Engineering...
and be patient with results of these changes...life isn't a "before and after picture" (without knowing it this is how we tend to think... and it discourages us all...thanks a lot media!) it takes time, persistence, commitment, and of course hard work to meet those goals...I am constantly... 24/7... trying to find new ways to improve myself....
and if anyone needs any advise or someone to talk to that is going through what you are... PLEASE feel free to send me a message and i will not hesitate to help you...we will get through this together!!! I promise!!!
TheRenegade 26-30, M 11 Responses 21 Jul 9, 2012