It's Friday night, and I am in bed on my third glass of vino, next to my longtime companion cat Dinah, typing "I am lonely" into google. My little boy is settling down to Alice in Wonderland on the compter as his bedtime is only minutes away, and my boyfriend and father to my child is drinking his **** beer and watching a movie in the living room starring Ryan Renolds that was boring me to tears. I do not love the guy anymore. Our history is ugly, and filled with hateful words and physical violence. I have zero family or close relationships to talk about this with. My mom and only person I had heart to heart talks with about it, died of cancer two years ago, and was having problems of her own at the time so I feel guilty for laying this **** on her to this day. Despite it all, I've remained loyal. How can you keep loving someone who physically and emotionally hurt you so bad? You can't. So you find yourself in your room with your old furry friend and some vino. Its comforting, but I still feel alone.