30 And Lonely

I never thought I would find myself so lonely. But two years since a five year relationship and I feel like the failure to launch guy. To make a long story short my relationship ended because I don't think she felt any love and I'm not sure I did love her. We just looked good on paper. After it was over I was totally fine but as time has gone on I've just masked my unhappiness with drugs alcohol cigarettes and permiscousness. I guess I'm really feeling lonely now because I've stopped all those things because I know they're unhealthy. I thought I would feel amazing and I did for a little while but there my lonliness is out in the open. Sometimes I just want to give up or just go out with a bang and start partying and going nuts, but I guess I know it's all just a distraction. I've been single before and it was always easy. You just started partying with friends and you'd meet new people. But I'm 30 now and the bar has lost its allure and most people my age are married now. I don't really know who to talk to because by all accounts I shouldn't have any sympathy. I'm attractive in great shape successful talented. But all that's bullshit if you don't have love in your life. Anyways this is getting depressing
Derek30 Derek30
2 Responses Sep 9, 2012

Dereck, I am proud of you because you at least tried to make it work for 5 years. Instead of staying in a unhealthy relationship you decided to cut both you and her loose! It is depressing when you don't have someone in your life that you can love and share everything with! I am here to talk! Just saying! Smile :) Today is the First day of the Rest of your Life! <br />
Sincerly,<br />

Yeah, I saw on this site that 18% of folks who are lonely are in their thirties (low %) so we are in the minority for sure. Have you heard of that website "meetup.com"? There are lots of different activities in most cities that you can join for free, that's a way to meet people outside the bar scene. But let's face it, it's tougher as you get older and my suggestion isn't meant to minimize your feelings. Just remember: the only way out is through! I hope things start looking up for you...maybe you'll meet a new friend who can bring you a different kind of happiness than you typically seek...or volunteering is a good way to get one's mind off troubles...sometimes there are singles groups centered around some volunteer activity, that'd be a wonderful place to meet someone I think.<br />
<br />
I was in a relationship for 1.5 years that "looked good" and now I see how it was really kind of empty. I think, at least I'm out of it now.