I Thought I'm Happy Alone.

When I was in high school, I never had any problems with friends. In fact, I'm considered quite popular. But once I stepped into college, everything fell apart. I barely have any friends. I'm like a third wheel if I joined any conversation. Most of the time I hole up in my room. I'm a scholarship student. I can't afford to socialise by shopping everyday or having numerous meals just to make friends. I spend most of my time studying. However, the one issue that hurts me the most is that no guy ever showed any hint of interest in me at all. In my eighteen years of life, not one. It never bothered me before but it's starting to crush me now. It's so superficial but I just can't help it. I'm not ugly and I think I'm quite nice when you get to know me. All this silly boy issue is really getting to me and I'm having terribly dark thoughts at bouts of time. I'm worried for myself and yet I've no one to talk to about such things. Its embarrassing to admit that you're so affected by such trivial problem. I've never told anyone, and no one knows since I always acted as though I'm content with my situation. It's so stupid but I can't help it. And my last resort is to type it out, hoping that at least someone knows, without ruining my 'independent girl power' image I have going on.
deleted deleted
26-30
1 Response Sep 12, 2012

Well you have done the right thing by writing your thoughts here, and I am sure there will be a myriad of intelligent people sending you messages to befriend them etc. It is normal in life to go through a period like you are having, but most people come out the other side intact with probably more friends and baggage then can deal with... As you have started college maybe its the change of scenery, you are stressed about your studies.... You seem level headed you'll be fine I am sure