Wall Of Doubt.

I have a good life. I go to school, I work, I have friends, I'm living comfortably. However, I find myself constantly scrutinizing the motives of everyone around me. This makes me feel lonely, even when I'm surrounded by people. It doesn't matter how long I've known someone or how close we are, I always wonder what they want from me. Maybe they keep me around to feed their egos. Maybe they laugh at me behind my back. Maybe watching me fail gives them satisfaction. Maybe they want me to listen to their troubles and give them appropriately sympathetic feedback, but in the end, they don't give a **** about me, just the purpose I serve? I can't seem to accept that anyone would just want to be near me for the sake of being near me. Sometimes I feel like there's no way anyone would hang around me unless they were getting something out of it. Then I try to examine my own motivations, and I just start to doubt and hate myself. I pick everyone apart, including myself. The suspicion is eating me alive, but I can't make myself stop.
Vriska8loodyCircuit Vriska8loodyCircuit
18-21, F
1 Response Sep 17, 2012

I have the same problem, but we have to believe in ourself!