Maybe I've Always Been..

I think I've spent all of my life hoping to meet that one person that understood me. Someone I could share everything with. Be myself.. and have them love me anyway. I'm not selfish. If I love someone, I bend over backwards to try to make them happy. I give all that I have, for that relationship. I have longed to finally feel secure with someone. Someone to have things in common with, someone to have amazing conversations with, someone to encourage and be encouraged by.. to support one another...to feel like I really matter to someone.Someone who is willing to put as much into the relationship as I do. I'm not sure I've ever had that. I've been in relationships that I know the other person loves me, but for one reason or another, it wasn't right. We weren't on the same intellectual level, or we didn't have too much in common.. or just something was askew enough that it just never felt like this is 'the one'.

I don't expect someone to be perfect. If the relationship is right, you work around those things that maybe aren't so desirable. I know I'm not perfect.. far from it..and God knows they'd need some patience to deal with my family at times. But some days.. I just wonder what it would be like.. to be in that type of relationship. To matter to someone, as much as they matter to you.

It feels like this void in my heart grows by each passing year. I don't want to get to the point that I give up hoping to find that, but by the same token, the sadness of not having this in my life is becoming harder to bear.