O Dating Sites, Wherefore Art Thou?

I have been on an american dating site for a little over a year now. I have met 1 person which did not turn out well, because this person had lied about certain aspects of their profile. I have been messaged a few times and I have done quite a bit of messaging to people whom I fealt was a match. I get very little responses back... if any. I live in a small town with less than 50,000 people. What I am looking for is someone who doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs and has no children. If I search within 100 miles there are NO matches, lol. I want to find a long-term relationship that is hopefully my last one! I have also used a russian dating site. Now before you get the wrong idea, this is not one of those "Russian Brides" sites. This is a free personals website. I have had many more replies back to my messages from russians than I ever have from americans. Maybe you are thinking to yourself that they just want a free green card. Russia, although is not as nice as America, is not some 3rd world hell hole. Many of these women are trying to find men without any "Bad Habits", as they call them, mainly alcoholism, which is rampant in Russia. I was actually in an 8 month relationship with someone that I met on that site. I have russian heritage so I like the idea of finding my love in russia. I also have no luck in america, so it seems that I am forced to search for love abroad. I have long hair, I'm a musician and artist, I'm funny, I'm attractive (well, at least NOT ugly, lol), but I don't make a lot of money. I have set up a fake profile on the american dating site, with an attractive guy's picture and income of about 60,000. He has gotten so many more messages and views than I did at that point and time. The same test would probably have the same effect on russian women, but the fact that americans seem to be more vain and materialistic has already been proven to me. I understand that women want someone to provide for them and I am able to do that. These certain american women seem to want whomever can provide the most, regardless of whether they can fall in love. I think that they confuse love with security. Both are important, but both are different. Perhaps I have just had bad luck. Maybe more russians are vain and materialistic than americans and I have just stumbled upon the lucky ones that aren't. O well, such is life, eh?
goluboy goluboy
22-25, M
4 Responses Sep 21, 2012

It's not jus difficult finding a good woman. If you swing both ways (and I do) it's damn impossible finding a decent guy out there too. I'm not from that small of a town (25k-ish) and near enough to a big city (Chicago) and yet I've had no luck in years of searching on multiple dating pages. I even did a search on eH and another big name, and they told me there was no one in their system in 100 miles who matched what I was looking for. It's a wasteland.

My recommendation, especially for a fellow artist, is to set up an account on an art community and meet people that way. I've made more friends (though I've yet to get lucky).

I'm actually taking a trip to Chicago in November. Anything you would suggest me checking out?

When I said art community, I meant online art community. Sorry if there was some confusion there. Deviantart, Artician, Lemonfingers (writers only), Protagonize (writers only), Paperdemon.

Women are women..maybe their approach is different..Everyone wants what's best for them.

Right on.

I know exactly what you mean..but I relate to it a little differently. I do not drink, smoke, go clubbing, or any of that stuff. It is hard for me to find friends my age because most people are into partying and drinking, experimenting with drugs. I am not and have never been into that....I joined this lonely group bcuz I don't have friends :(

I don't have friends either, although most of the time I prefer it that way. All my high school friends moved away for college and I see them every now and again, but things are different. I think it is hard to find young people with wisdom. At least enough wisdom to know who THEY are and not what their friends expect them to be. It's easy to just do what everyone else is doing to fit in. It's hard to be your own person and independant, but it is more rewarding. Especially in the long run!