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Ladies..your Thoughts!

This begins the ramblings of a coming migraine..apparently I give them to myself as I *overthink* everything! Whatever!!!

I question relationships, men, life in general. I think, we ladies should never, ever get married. Choose the handsome face we want to make our babies with..check mental health history first! Use them, do not tell them you are pregnant..move on. We need our babies, they don't!

Dating a man, he caters..wines and dines you. Puts an effort into sex..treats us as if we were special and wanted. They do little things for us..happily. Try to keep them away..almost impossible.

Now, get married and wow...lights out. They become ball scratching, beer drinking slobs with a passion for a pigskin ball, or golfing, or baseball..or partying with the buddies. So much energy and passion..for everything but the so called lady in their life..now the forgotten wife.

The lady down the street now is more appealing, the garage is filled with toys like they are 5 year olds, they say their stress is more than yours! Are you kidding me? I helped you get where you are, gave up my dreams so you can live yours, you leave your stress in lists for me to handle and then complain because I am stressed and have migraines handling your life and mine!

And there it is, married and with separate lives! Mother says, all men are the same..it is why women choose to become lesbians...Mother?? LOL she says pat them on the head and just deal with it! No thank you! I actually think there is more to a relationship than this!

Call me a dreamer, but I need that dream. A dream of finding my other half, of belonging, maybe even believing in love. I want to cherish a man, get excited because he is calling or coming home any time now. I believe I should get a warm and fuzzy feeling when I am with him, or just thinking of him. I want to work at making him want me, need him to want me as I want him. I do not want to hang off my side of the bed and watch him do the same. I want to be in the middle, curled around him..feeling as if I am home.

Yea yea, I know. I am asking waaaayyy too much! Well then, guess I will spend the rest of my life dating. A lot easier to get rid of the dead end relationships then! And find someone with a little more spark and attentiveness..Hmm..I always heard about that southern charm...what do you say ladies..it it all talk too???
moondancelady moondancelady 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 22, 2012

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I think as women we are in love with love. the idea of falling head over heals in love. We live for it thrive off of it. We give it our all and will until the day we die if it is given to us in return. But Saddly most men are not like us. they love the challenge the game the thrill of the chase.And once it is done and there is no more conquest then we become as exciting as last years toys. Put out in the garage with all of the others. Our paint gets scratched. We get the dents of life and loose our luster. So we get traded in for this years latest model.
I do not know if there is really an antidote for that, but all we can do is keep trying to keep them intrested and see how long we can stay SHINEY

I believe women and men can stay SHINEY if they want to be. But that takes the other half to make them want to. You my love will always shine in my eyes and create the twinkle and spark we all want

Well I am a man and this is my opinion.. It depends on the personality types. Some men are lovers and some men are not. I am a man and I could care less about football, baseball or any sports. I liked to give massages and sex was not a problem. I loved to hold my girlfriend at night because it was something I loved to do and felt it was my duty as her man to do so. I think when people get married the "game" is won. Meaning the men don't try anymore and so they give up. This goes for women too. My ex girlfriend wore "crocs" I despised them, still do to this day. I found her a Louis Vuitton handbag and got her one. The real one not a fake one. She carried it and wore her crocs. This leads to the sitting in the chair and drinking beer etc. If she doesn't care about her appearance, why should I ? I am looking for that "southern lady" all the time. I have met a small few who were ladies. What you forget and so do a lot of women, is that men and women are wired differently. Its the way GOD made us. Ying and Yang, if the match is right, a couple can be happy. I think some women, not all but some, grew up on Dallas and Knots Landing and other soap operas too much and have been brainwashed. Life is not a script....it takes two to make it work. I open doors for ladies and pull the chair out. I open the car door. I did this even before dating my ex for over a year and a half. It was because I show respect. A man has to respect the woman he is with, but she must respect him as well..............sorry for being so long winded. You just not have found the right gentleman who appreciates you yet. He is out there and he will adore you.

You make a good point
and many quit after marriage or they feel relationship is secure. So sad...a good relationship is worked at fir a life time.

Yes it is, its a labor of love...

Awww, You're NOT asking for too much....Nobody is when they want a partner who acts like a partner and NOT a tall 5 year old. Hang in there...There are good men and you're a smart enough woman to find one who will treat you like you deserve to be treated.... ♥ You ALL are!

Of course..but are we smart enough to make a better choice this time??? Or do we follow the wrong path every time??? Do we ever really know someone? Hey on the bright side...writing crap seems to helping the migraines go away! Apparently there is no more storage room in my brain..it is overflowing and I need to get rid of some of the stuff in there. Stupid neurologist was right..I really hate to admit that!

Yayy YOU for getting rid of that miserable migraine!! I am an eternal optimist and think you can and will make the perfect choice in time!! We all make wrong choices about EVERYTHING now and then but then we learn and grow from them...hugs and hugs... ♥

Hugs to you too...and I am trying to learn to live stress free..not make more choices. Even yoga didn't help...I love yoga, but I cannot meditate...I always wanted to shake him and tell him to get back to the workout! LOL

I hear ya on the meditating..I have a HARD time with it too.....I always get distracted and end up doing something to distract hubs too....Needless to say he sometimes chases me off when he wants to do it and be undisturbed!! :D I don't know if we can get to "stress free" but I think just learning to reduce it little by little helps and using the writing like you did here to alleviate some of that internal bulid-up is AWESOME!! I honestly find I can sort out my thoughts better with writing too...it must make another part of our brain wake up or something....

I have always liked writing, even as a child. It has taken years to start again, now I need to take some classes and clean it up. It does help to get the creative juices flowing again, and it definitely helps put things in perspective.

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MTM and Moondancelady...thanks for the giggles...read your replies. Divorced and dating. Dating is overrated. Thought it was going to be so much better now that we're mid aged and everyone has matured and grown up....wrong!!!!
Yeah, I'm one of those looking for that passionate love where you can't stop smiling and every other word you use is amazing. At this point in my life, I would be thrilled to find someone that is single and interesting enough to hang out with for companionship. I miss the emotional connection more than the physical.

I hated dating..it takes everything I have to politely finish the date and ditch them!!! LOL
I can find lots of companions to hang out with..I don't want that..that is all my marriage was!

It happens here in the South as well MDL.........think maybe it's from having been read all those fairy tales about knights on steeds in shining armor that will come take you away and you live happily ever after. And we believe they exist to find out in most cases they don't. *sigh*

I was never looking for a knight in shining armor..if I saw one right now I would prob ding that armor! Grrrrr...LOL

I wasn't either........just wanted someone who loved me for me. Boy did I get that one wrong :-(

I do know the women seemed happyer down there.... you might be on to something! XOXO

Is it happiness or just good old fashioned human respect and consideration?

hmmmm :) guess i never got that close to em... id go back but its so hot.... lmao

no i say its all real life...