I Am Lonely

I have no family. I have no partner. I have no children. I have no friends. I am all alone. I pretend to people at work that I am happy and that I have a good life so that they don't doubt my ability to do my job. I would never openly admit this to anyone that knew me, I would be too humiliated. I wish that there was not a stigma attached to lonliness. I wish I had the courage to just go out and meet people. But being lonely is self perpetuating and I think I am now frightened to speak to people. And I often think, what is the point? What contribution do I make to planet earth? And I don't know what to do about my predicament. I am just telling you this, because this is literally the only connection I have to a social world. I suspect no-one will read this. I wouldn't blame you.
notjustmeoryou notjustmeoryou
36-40, F
10 Responses Nov 19, 2012

Hi, I feel really sorry for you as well. Like you I have no family or partner or children and feel deeply lonely all the time, so I can appreciate your feelings and situation very well. I, too, wish that there was no stigma attached to loneliness-we are not supposed to feel it or admit to it, which makes it even harder to cope with. Like you and like firedaxon I am good at putting on a happy face, and few people would ever guess that I was so lonely and empty inside all the time.

Hugs and thanks Fran

I am a lonely male and have been for many many years. The holidays mean nothing to me anymore except an extra day off since I have no where to go.
I know how you feel.

I didn't think anyone else was in this same predicament. My life has been sad and lonely in many ways but most people believe it is the opposite since I learned as a child to put on the happy face. Yes, I go out and do things and have many acquaintances, but no close companion and no family. Friends come and go and are oh-so-superficial, it is a stretch to call them friends. What is real is what you describe. Thank you for being real and for stating it so eloquently.

I didn't think anyone had the same experience as me either. But I think it's that there is so much shame attached to loneliness that no-one is brave enough to admit it to those we know. I'm so sorry that so many people know how I feel. It is really sad. Hugs Firedaxon.

I think it is really more about the way modern life is than about you. Modern life is weirdly fractured with people living their lives in separate silos of work / play / family and most times the people in those different groups don't ever connect - and it's easy for people to fall though the gaps if they are unlucky with their situation. You have no family - that's not your fault. If we lived a jungle life in a community where we all had our roles - hunting and finding animals or making houses / cooking etc - you would not have fallen into this lonely place. It's very easy in the modern world for people to end up lonely. Also people do not trust one another nowadays because of all the scare stories in the media - so it's hard to start from scratch - people like to get to know people by introductions - like you are 'vouched for' by someone - if you're starting from scratch its really hard to get off first base. I would try to make friends with the people that you know at work - anyone at all who seems nice and who would not mind just going somewhere to do something - like the cinema or a quick drink after work - doesn't have to be anyone special - just a quick drink with someone you sometimes chat to at the coffee machine - have a few chats at the coffee machine and then say - "does anyone here ever go for a quick drink straight after work?" to that pub next door - down the road etc - and see how the land lies - don't give up if the first person is not interested - some will be and some won't - start in the shallow end - and then try to move deeper - it's just practice really - and we're all on that slope - even confident people with seemingly lots of friends have the same worries about being liked etc - they can just fake it better with confidence - don't be so hard on yourslef and just se how it goes - but keep practicing :)

You and I are EXACTLY the same. You are not alone. But I want you to realize that loneliness has NOTHING to do with being alone. There are lots of people who are married, surrounded with family and friends etc. who still feel empty and lonely. You can feel complete and happy as a clam being alone... you just need to look within.

Hi, I'm sorry things are hard for you right now.

If you would like someone to talk to I'd be happy to chat every now and then. I'm a final year undergrad in the UK.

There are many good people here. You are never truly alone!

i did read it and i am here if youwant to talk

and i understand the feeling

I am lonely too. I mean I have friends but they hardly ever reply to my messages and calls. Too busy with their lives and kids. All my friends are mums, and I'm not. I often feel ignored as well. I also have a crush on someone who probably wouldn't fancy me in a million years. He's out of my league, he's a real social animal, whereas I would love to socialise but have no one to socialise with as my friends don't go out, they just don't bother. I have been to bars alone but it's no fun at all...I know how you feel....

i no how you feel and it not nice