Too Scared To Admit True Feelings

Ever had a day when you feel your life is hopeless? No friends, no life, nothing but you.

No friends because you're afraid to trust anyone and yet push people away.
No life because you're too drained to do anything
You waste your life taking care of people and ignoring yourself
You get mad at others for doing nothing for you yet YOU ALWAYS REJECT THEM!

Many birthdays spent alone
Too ashamed to let people see the real you
Too stubborn to admit you may be depressed
Too proud to shed a tear
Too scared to admit what you feel is pain
Too weak

Hoping for a change
Hoping for a meaningful life
Hoping for something good
invisibleme000 invisibleme000
36-40, F
6 Responses Nov 22, 2012

@invisibleme000 Wow u just described me! I cant blame anyone for my loneliness because Im just this way. I dont know why, so I cant even blame myself. But I am miserable. One thing I can say is I do have hope. I havent given up yet. Ive been seperated 3yrs now and dont regret it at all. I have three sons and the last one moved out about a month ago. Im laid off from work, lonely and depressed. Ive never had real friends. I use to be around people who I had nothing in common with because I thought thats how u make friends. Silly me. Ive finally let them all go and they dont try to contact me so I know they werent true friends. My sons have their own live and tell me to get a pet, hobby etc but truthfully theres nothing like a human to human relationship whether it be platonic, romantic we all need someone. I am sooo sad and I too notice how I have the habbit of not trusting people and pushing people away. I wonder if its our self esteem. The question is how do we fix it?Feel free to reciprocate!

My heart goes out for you, you said it so poetically yet with so much pain. This is also how I feel. Good to know that I'm not the only one.

It sounds real.

I know your story well because it was mine. I urge you to start trusting a carefully chosen friend or two (maybe just a little at first). Be prepared to make some mistakes (you'll handle it when you do). Shed a tear when nobody's looking. And begin to feel the pain, and the fear, and anything else that comes along. You are not to weak. If I did, you can. Come out here and let me give you a big big hug!

I feel the same way. I feel like I have put myself inside a prison. Wanting to get out but don't know how.

My friends are my worst enemies. They are taking advantage of me.