Loneliness. Its Eating Me Alive.

My name is Morgan, I'm 21. I'm gay. I've had a rough few years. I strive for friends, I will do whatever it takes to get them. I've bought friends, had sex for friends, stolen for friends, I will do whatever it takes to have someone accept me. My parents used to tell me I didn't need friends.... I've never had anyone accept me. I have nobody. I am still in school, I feel so alone. I have never had a boyfriend or a best friend. I've never had anyone I could trust, I just always get used, and abused.
I don't mean for this to be a sob story, I just wish someone would give me some advise as to what I can do to find friends, to have someone be there for me and I can be there for them... I am so lost and I cry every night. I lay in bed and think about the dreams, I go out and see people happy, and in love. That's all I could possibly ask for... Someone to love and support and give me the same in return.I stress and don't eat. I lose so much weight. I feel like I could never find someone to be happy with. I've run away so many times, only to be used and abused. I have a story I wish I could share with someone and not be judged... if anyone is out there that I could talk to please I need you.... Thank you for reading....

morganm65896 morganm65896
18-21, M
6 Responses Dec 1, 2012

It's not your fault if you haven't had friends.
You seem a very nice person and it's just their fault.
I'm gay too, i know it's hard.
If you want to talk i'm here

i feel the same way :(
it's really hard to be gay/lesbian most of the time ;(

Hello Morgan add me and we can start from there

Well dude the best thing I can say is that for starters you don't need friends who will only be friends with you if you have sex with them, steal, and even have to buy them that's just people being there for material things I know it's tough out there and I know you've had a tough life I had it tough myself but you can't let things like that get to you. Finding someone to accept you is hard in this world because people like to live by a code society has made up and most people follow what you have to do is find out what type of people you want be around and are able to call them friends.

I feel the same way :(

I am so sorry to hear that you feel like you have never had a best friend and that you feel so alone and lost and that you cry every night. That is no way to live at all. I am sorry to say that I have no advice on how to make friends, becuz I am at a loss there myself...I have a few, but whenever I let meyself get really close to someone they always end up hurting me...so I have learend to try to kepe my distance from people....but listen...My name is angela...and I am 22 years old, married and a student at a university...if you wanna talk...shoot me a message