When I was 10 my grandma died that was the root of all my problems.I'm thirteen now.She was the only person who made me feel special.After a week I went to her grave again and I started looking at my life.I was small then so I thought I had the best life,funny how all of that could change it one year.When I was 11 I lost my innocence that I was trying so hard to keep.I started realising that I had no one to lean one and no one to talk to about my problems.My mom and dad are mexican no offence but most mexican parents don't show their love towards their children.My dad also was a trucker and left for about 3 months and came back 1 week.

My mom cares about me I know but she is to busy with my little brothers who are 7 and 8.My older brother and me were never close so I can leave him out of the question.My friends are kid of like boys we don't talk about each other's lives and our past. My cousins aren't close to me ethier.I tried to open up but it's hard to open up when people when everyone how you've pen up to has shut you out and let you down.For example, my friend Elizabeth, my cousin, and my other friend Bianca.

I don't have a best friend because I'm like the Joker of my group.I love bringing similes and laughs to my friends.I found two quotes that I started living by "Some day you'll be a memory in someone's life at least let it be a good one." and "I want to be remembered as the girl who could brighten everyone's day even if she couldn't brighten her own.I love what I do but when I'm alone it feels like it's all crashing down
id152151 id152151
2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

here is what happened to you..... when your grandma passed away that left this big hole
in your feelings...and you have no one to fill that hole with....so you tried physical love, that was a big mistake, as you see... what you need to understand is that people come and go in our lives..thats life..people are born, live, and die, in many ways... and it affects many others when that happens. you sound like a caring and sensitive person...who has a big hole in their feelings...what you need to start doing is giving your life purpose...doing something that you feel is very speical...and rewards you... try volenteering at a local hospital or old peoples center... you will find out quickly that there are many people who you will be the best part of their day...just because you cared... and you never know who you might meet and be a special person in your life thru your efforts....

You story brings joy to my heart. Your not alone EVER. The lord will be there for guidance if you let him lead you. You have to keep hopes up , He will put you through test's before he give's you anything that is his way to know where you stand in his plans for your life. My family is Puerto Rican I am Latino, I was always singled out because of being minority no one wants to be my friend, I don't know what a good friend is i am waiting for the day that one comes along but i cant sit still. My great grand father died when i was 10 and he was the one that took care of me most my child hood when my dad couldn't be there for me. I looked up to him like like a father tho he wasn't. Good things always come to a quick end I'v noticed. I hope you find the power with in you to open up and move on.