Back Again For Another Round

Well not much has changed for me. I still am clinging on to the hope that maybe one day, one day hopefully I can fill this void I have in my life. I was asked a question the other day by my therapist I guess that what she is. "Are you happy with your life?"
Honestly I have no answer what so ever for that. None. I just laughed at her because I really couldn't answer it. So the only things that have changed for me in the last year or so, is that I have to pay someone to listen and talk to me. Honestly, its not working for me because I know it all isn't real. It is her job to listen to me whine and pour out my insides while she phcho-analyzes it. I still look for that truck at every intersection just to plow through my car and blow my car to pieces with me in it. Either one of my cars. Waiting for my tire to blow out and flip my car into a deadly spin shattering everything that is what I am. I am lost for words. All I can say is "What is life without someone to enjoy it?"
onmyknees21 onmyknees21
4 Responses Dec 5, 2012

Well, for a start, I hope you don't listen to this jediknight7 scum. It seems to be just some poor sad individual that has apparently only recently shaved it's knuckles and learnt how to use a computer, and can only get it's kicks with displays of it's low intelligence ....

Everyone finds happiness in something different. Some people can be happy working their arses off 24/7. Others can be happy on their own. Some just need people in their lives, to share experiences with, to talk with. Loneliness isn't just about a physical isolation. It's a mental and emotional isolation too. I think that's why many say that they are lonely, even in a crowd of people, because there isn't that mental and emotional connection, so there isn't that closeness with someone that sharing an experience can give. Sometimes, something as simple as going to a movie, or out to lunch or dinner with someone, or even a walk, can be a good way to take our minds off the ... well ... off the unhappiness we feel. I know I wish I had someone to share those things with! If I did, it wouldn't cure everything, but I would feel happier than I do now.

ok so when are you going to stop feeling sorry for yourself and grow up.. no one in the world is responible for your happiness BUT YOU ! you honestly cant think that ANYONE can make you better by laying on a couch and giving them money ! All your doing is making their life better !!! GET OFF YOUR SORRY BUTT AND GO START YOUR OWN BUSINESS OR GET A JOB OR FIND A HOBBY... YOU CANT CARE FOR SOMEONE ELSE IF YOU CANT EVEN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF... !

WOW. I fell the hurt in your story. Wow. I would (if it were possible) love to be your friend, issues and all. I exist in the same void everyday. "AM I happy with my life? HELL NO!

I truly feel your pain. I wish you happiness. Peace to you