Some Things Never Change

Still lonely as hell. To make matters worse my little dog died a few months ago and it broke my heart so much.

I hate my life so much. What a fucken void of misery, torment, and desperate emptiness. I just don't understand what the hell is the point in all this. Am I just here to consume stuff and to use up energy and truly have no real worth or point to my existence. Seriously I just do not get it at all.

If I had a hand gun I would have blown my head off by now. Would have waited until my little dog passed, but that is nearly five months ago now and I'm still breathing and still getting up everyday and going to my **** job which I hate so fucken much and I am so complacent I cannot even focus on getting the hell out of it.

What a load of ****. I just don't understand why I am being punished with this crappy life I lead. Was I even last time around.

I just can't wright this stuff anymore. I need a gun but in this ****** up country where I live **** *** Ireland u can't get access to guns.

I am so full of hate I think I am going t do something really ***** someday. please fucken help me. I did not ever do anything to hurt anyone. So why must I live this existence so alone and lonely. I am a good looking man who at one time had a normal life with a partner and lots of friends and family but that all ended about 7years ago and I have been floating around in what feels life a big empty ocean ever since and there is no land in site. When will the storm come and drown me for **** sake so I can sleep for ever..

philipdublin philipdublin
41-45, M
Dec 9, 2012