Do you feel it too?

A description of the loneliness I feel: Isolated, as if nothing is moving forward in my life. A very dark, cold place. It's extremely unbearable, but I push on with it somehow. It's tied to me like a ball & chain. I feel it crushing, constricting me each and every day like a prison. As if I am going to expire, getting closer and closer to death!

A description of how I feel when I see an attractive girl/woman my age: Right away, I feel intimidated. I feel insignificant, then when I get closer to communicate, I hope I am not turned down. I feel she is a good description of who I imagine I would like to be with. It's extremely pressuring. I fear the rejection. It hurts afterwards. Maybe I just haven't found the right person yet?

Overall, I guess my #1 wish in life is to find a special person I can share my life with. I've always wished I didn't have this dream, because it's so very important to me that it precedes everything else. It's so dear to me. I'm not sure why, though. Everything else in life almost doesn't matter to me. I can't explain why...
TheForestOfGnomes TheForestOfGnomes
26-30, M
2 Responses Dec 9, 2012

When i was 18 - 21 i had the very same feeling. Now that im 51 - 55, ...i still have it!!

Wow, you show the patience and courage it takes! That's a long time.... but we can all learn something, no matter how long it takes, it will happen. I envy you for hanging in there... it probably wasn't that easy though, i'm assuming?

Its kinda like the walk of life. Your in a relationship you dont really want to be in, or its this. ...hey and dont forget its the natural role of women to reject initially, so you gotta decide if the chase is worth it.

Yes, that is generally true... I've started to condition myself by just getting out into the public and being around people, and when I see attractive women, I tell myself that if they reject me, it will hurt. A lot. But that it's okay, because I'm willing to continue being hurt over and over again, as we all get hurt. We can't let it bring us down and defeat us, only strengthen us. It was all a fear that I had, but now I am starting to see more improvement.

My definition of loneliness is exactly the same. It's a terribly depressing feeling to have :(

Yeah, it's very hard to deal with :( I hope you are doing well currently?

No, lonely as ever :(

Hang in there. The pain will end soon, it has too because it's so temporary. I just recently found out that after years of loneliness, it was due to my fear of rejection. I found out I was living a lie, that rejection was a very very bad thing, like society would 'gossip' about me, or that I was messing up all the time. But I found we need to use courage instead. Knowing that it hurts every time we get rejected, that it's a way to learn from that, and adjust our art in socializing, while still being ourselves. I hope this helps!!!

Wish somebody I know would realize all those things you just mentioned...I wouldn't be lonely.

I know, the pain seems to never end, sometimes it gets worse. I understand what you mean too, having someone to understand our feelings... please hang in there! It should be the only thing we do, no other options besides that. We can't give up! There are soooo many beautiful things headed all our way. Hope you are doing okay!!!

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