Do you feel it too?
A description of the loneliness I feel: Isolated, as if nothing is moving forward in my life. A very dark, cold place. It's extremely unbearable, but I push on with it somehow. It's tied to me like a ball & chain. I feel it crushing, constricting me each and every day like a prison. As if I am going to expire, getting closer and closer to death!
A description of how I feel when I see an attractive girl/woman my age: Right away, I feel intimidated. I feel insignificant, then when I get closer to communicate, I hope I am not turned down. I feel she is a good description of who I imagine I would like to be with. It's extremely pressuring. I fear the rejection. It hurts afterwards. Maybe I just haven't found the right person yet?
Overall, I guess my #1 wish in life is to find a special person I can share my life with. I've always wished I didn't have this dream, because it's so very important to me that it precedes everything else. It's so dear to me. I'm not sure why, though. Everything else in life almost doesn't matter to me. I can't explain why...