Here I am drunk, sitting on my floor with my best friend and one of many girls who have an undying devotion to him. They have fun, flirt, laugh, get close, and all that jazz while I stand in the corner and make f*cking knock-knock jokes every now and then. My life's success, level of decency, happiness, and what have you shouldn't depend on having somone in my life to be close to but guess what:
I'm human and it f*cking does. They continue to flirt, ON MY BED funnily enough, while I sit here on the floor. Did I mention I'm sitting on the floor aqlone? Haha just kidding. Here's a good app idea: PUT BREATHALIZERS ON PHONES THAT WON'T LET YOU ACCESS SOCIAL MEDIA WITH A CERTAIN ALCOHOL BLOOD LEVEL.

my life isnt bad. its great and i have plenty, yet i still feel so down like everything is wrong. to hell with this stupid need to be needed. i want to be wanted too bad to ever get what i want, so ill just listen to morrisey and deal with it i guess.. nothing much else i can do. the worst thing is is that theres a girl i know whos interested but we havent spoken much so i gotta "play the game" which takes way too long and is so off putting because all i really want to do is be completely open withsomeone instead of waiting until its okay to do so. and she seems really great from what ive gathered so far so i cant **** this up. sadly, when i se eher in person, i freeze up, get a loss of words, and needless to say, **** everything up.
so here's my horribly miserable, self-loathing, depressed, negative plea to just see some change in this f*cking life for the better because right now its sh*t and i... i dont know.. this whole post was a waste of time.. just need to vent..
matiswest matiswest
18-21, M
3 Responses Dec 11, 2012

Feels ****** as all hell trust me i know. The game sucks but if you need to play it then the girl is a waste of time so find someone better by waiting for someone that you have a connection with to enter your life and then be your open self no games just love

Ugh, I now exactly how you feel right now! :(

I honestly in a way know how you feel, hang in there, the right person an come along when you least expect it <3 *hug*