I Wish His Number Would Disappear

Days like this, I start to think about him. I start remembering how it felt to make love to him, how it felt to kiss him, and touch him, and lay with him. I start to remember how once upon a time I was his number one. He claimed me to all his friends and family, but now things have changed and in my moments of loneliness I start to fiend for those moments to become real. I yearn to feel his touch and his lips and body against mine, but then I think about the present and it gets me even more down than the loneliness did. We broke up, but stayed in touch and started sleeping together again. Then you hurt me with the news of a relationship, but my legs never quite completely closed to you. You moved back to your hometown and my heart was still with you. It was fed convos about anything and everything like plans for your next visit and sexually charged late night fantasies exchanged. Good morning texts and good night calls mmmm... I loved it. Then you hit me with that line again "I have a girlfriend. I'm so sorry." *uppercut to the chin with one hand and a knife to the heart with the other* So now I'm sitting here, laying down there, standing around thinking about you, fantasizing about you, being mad at you, regretting everything. In my loneliness is when you have the most power over me and I believe you know it, but so far I have been strong. Those ten little numbers beside your name in my phone don't help at all, but so far I have not called you, text you, or wrote you on Facebook and I'm proud, but it's also hard (which is something I don't want to admit), and hopefully it'll be easier by next week cuz it seems like it's not getting better day by day.
SimplyLuvly SimplyLuvly
22-25, F
1 Response Dec 11, 2012

I truly admire this post...you really are strong, I gave in to my moments of weakness and loneliness during a similar incident, but it does get easier as the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months go by, + 1 from me, and stay strong, just simply amazing.

You really put a smile on my face. Thank you for the support.