Don't Know What To Do.

I don't know what I hope will come of this or even why I'm doing it really. Talking never really solves anything it seems. I don't even expect anyone to read this or care really. I guess I'm just writing this as a way for me to get it off my chest. It's almost Christmas and I'm sitting here in my house alone, looking at the tree I put up that no one will see but me. My family lives in another state and the person I moved here for has put me strongly in the friend zone. It wasn't always like that but now it is. The sad thing is I try to go out and meet people but they are either fake or I just have no interest and all I can think about is how much I want to be with him. I've tried to be a good friend even though it hurts a lot to just be friends knowing how much I want to be with him. I just can't seem to move on. It doesn't help he's my best friend and one of the only friends I have here. That doesn't matter though. The whole point is I wish he was here and I could be with him but I do good to get him to answer a text message. So instead I'm sitting here alone as I have been for the past 4 days. No one has called or come by. Makes me really wonder what's wrong with me and why I can't have what seems to come so easy to other people. I'm so tired of being alone and having no one. I'm sad and the thought of spending Christmas alone is just so discouraging I can't stop crying. And nothing I do is making it better. It seems like it just won't end and it's just going to stretch on and on. I've tried to resign myself to being alone and just accept the fact that maybe some people aren't meant to find someone and I'm one of those people. I've filled my life with schooling and a career and other things but it doesn't fill the void I have. I fear the only one who can feel that void is the one person who's not here. Wtf is wrong with me? I just don't know what to do anymore.
girloftheworld girloftheworld
26-30, F
8 Responses Dec 24, 2012

I am no expert and suffer from the same limitations as all of us. However, loneliness is a state of mind. You 'feel' lonely inside. Don't wait for someone 'special' to come and take away your loneliness, because then you will be dependent on them for your mental stability - it is not healthy. You should try to find the balance by yourself. Look around, you are part of a community. When you engage in it, hopefully your lonely feelings will recede. Good luck.

I have felt a similar situation, but in the end I chose to live away from the woman I wanted to be with. It feels empty up here, away from her, and I too don't seem to be able to get a message back from her.
The best I can do is bide my time, and wait. I would like to make the claim that no one is alone forever, but some are. However I can say with confidence that very few people stay alone forever, and the chances that you are one of them, especially since you made an impression on me from around the globe, is small to put it mildly. So do as I do: wait, ignore the loneliness, and you will be with people again, friends, family, and maybe if you're lucky, someone who feels for you as you do them.

I really hope so. It's hard to ignore the loneliness thought. How do you do it?

I fill my time with games, distractions, and when I go out, I fill my time with humour and social challenges. My friends and I used to play a game, we would set each other truly aweful chat up lines to use, and we would see if we could make them work, or at least salvage the situation when they didn't. But that was before uni ended and most of my friends skipped town, for good, now it's only the absentees and the overly shy left.

I try to fill my time with work and school but the lonely feeling is always there and the thoughts are always in the back of my mind. It's like I can't escape it no matter how hard I try. I just want to give up honestly. I really just don't want to do this anymore.

How long have you been this lonely? You can't give up. I don't know if you are religious, but I have had a really **** time, bullied through secondary school, even in my final years when I could beat the living crap out of them it never stopped; very depressed throughout university; best friend died in 1st year; fell in love with my next best friend and was rejected in 2nd, along with serious social isolation, and kidney stones for the month over Christmas; hit rock bottom with depression in 3rd, (minor self harm, total self isolation, stopped eating or sleeping). But I have trusted that all these things were necesary, that these things would make me what I was meant to be. The greatest changes in a person come from sorrow and pain, and my pain has made me compassionate, much slower to anger, sensible when needed, (only when needed) capable of taking great amounts of pain, physical and emotional, in my stride, and very appreciative of everything I have.
I like who I am post-pain far more than who I was. Don't give up, you could be giving up on not only a less lonely future, but being an even better person.

Disclaimer: I assume you are a good person already, and that you don't need improvement, but there is no harm in improving anyway.

1 More Response

That's what i keep telling myself. That it might be raining now but it can't rain forever. Just sucks b/c I really thought he was the one but maybe I just wanted him to be.....

when I was depressed, I couldnt see any end, it had been going on so long, I couldnt remember when it even began, but like all things that seem like they have no end. It ended, and I didnt really believe it would until it did.

Since he's put you on the back burner, maybe you should think about moving back to your home state. I know circumstances( house and school etc) would make it difficult to do, but you can always try. If you can't move back right away, always know that your situation isn't permanent.

Thank you all so much! You really don't know how much it means to have people who don't even know me say such kind words and care. It's been a very rough few days and tonight I hit another really really low point, but then I came on here and read your responses. Loveispatient-- Thank you and hope the same for you! Some1sDEZTINY-- I'm trying not too, just hard when you're in love with them but you're 100% right. I do need to go out more! Unappreciated6-- Thank you, I would love to make new friends. Especially on here. Everyone seems so nice and supportive. PROUDGRANDMAOF6-- Hugs back! It really does hurt but it makes me feel better to know I'm not alone and there are people out there who know and care. It really means a lot.
Thank you all again and I hope that I can help and support you the way you have me. So if any of you ever need anything I'm def here for you!

have a merry christmas and a happy new year - i hope everything works out for you

Don't determine your future based upon 1 guy. Although it may seem to be love at the moment, it may turn out that your "true love" is just around the corner! Plus, you're still young! Don't give up... go out...go out...go're never gonna meet anyone at home.

hi hun first big hugs and you are no longer alone i have felt the lonelyness and pain you are feeling and it hurts so much if you need a friend i am here