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No Friends, Just Acquaintances

I am honest, intelligent, attractive, funny, educated, sincere, genuine, and yet I have no friends. I only have acquaintances. My New Years date canceled on me because she didn't want to go downtown (but she did anyway), all my so-called friends mysteriously were unreachable, and so I went out by myself for the first time ever. While I had fun, I fear it will not be the last time I go out alone. I think educated thoughts, opinions based on fact, and unwillingness to settle keep me alone. It seems we live in an era where people cannot handle honesty and are gratified by lies but get upset when the lie is revealed. Eight months left until I leave this horrid city behind for law school. I only hope I can find others that share my sentiment.
methodski methodski 26-30 24 Responses Jan 1, 2013

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Acquaintances? I like that. Now I have something to call them. :)

I don't really have friends either. I sometimes see people but i can't see them as true friends because they don't really know me. So i'm all alone.

real is better than fake, you need people who are there for you so it's ok.. law school, surely you'll have at least a friend or two, great minds think alike.... hmmm who's quote is that again? Lol.. if you're not a jerk you'll be alright. Godbless

I can totally relate. People these days are so shallow and trivial. It annoys me too but don't worry about that, you will find real, deep and amazing friends who share your common interests and who will enrich your life.

I tend to agree with you. People no longer value honesty, as much as they embrace their own vanity. While not a new concept, I believe as a whole, people have become much more superficial. As for myself, I have tons of acquaintances, but only a select few real friends. The others, kinda never delve beyond the surface. Sadly, I think people now seem to be drawn more so to materialistic and shallow traits in people rather than real, genuine, honest relationships.

I believe in the law of attraction. If you focus on the thought of having no friends, then you will have no friends. If you focus on the thought that you have acquaintances and not friends, then you will have only acquaintances. Try to focus your thoughts on what a great life you have. Be truely thankful and grateful for what you do have. You will attract more of it. Think of yourself as a magnet. You attract what you think and feel.

hi i am jack i be your friend my hp is 96397099 chat me in whatsapp

Oh so sorry to hear that, it's hard to stick to your guns when your lonely. But the only thing worse than being alone is being with someone you don't want to be with and feeling lonely. Keep your chin up the right person will come along.

I know how you feel. I feel like I only have acquaintances too. At least you know you're leaving in eight months so you've got something to look forward to. I should be leaving where I am in 7 to 8 months too, fingers crossed.

Like we say it's better to be alone than to have a bad compagny so it's ok if you're spending some time alone enjoy it, and really don't start looking for a friend you'll get hurt let it go you'll see one day you'll meet a wonderful friend and all this will be just a part of your old bad memories, but if you want a friend to talk with i'll be happy to talk to uu :) anyway good luck !

I would say stop looking and start being one. I think friendship just comes in along.

A word of advice though... there's a difference of having a friend and having a "true" friend. People lives in a society just to survive, its easy to just get friends. But you have to work a lot if you want to find a "true friend". You can brag big things about yourself and sooner later when people see's what they can get from you, they will be your so-called friend in an instant. Whereas a true friend does not look on what the other can offer, but looks forward of what he can offer.

Hello Friend,

Hum... in my opinion, to have friends it's not about be funny or intelligent; real friend are grown slowly and patiently. With love and kindness. If you are a kind man, maybe you must open your own heart first (or maybe my english is soooo bad that I didn't understand your point of view rsrsr).

Hear me and well Avhemena oh brother ..I also have downloaded story that I have no friends and I need it to friends ..But now overcome the situation through messaging friends ..Try to be friends through messaging friends ..Even evolve with you this thing and start to get real friends.

it's the same with a lot of people, including myself. but does being a loner bother me, no, because I have a life to live and will meet new people. just like you have a life to live and will meet others, don't let it bother you too much because in a good few years time it won't matter. and hey, if you ever need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to hit me up

i feel the same x

Well thats the reason why they make this site, don't you worry you will meet someone who will
Spend times with you. And hope u for the best!

be your friend.

i enjoyed your story. i lived a life like yours for years. the part i knew best was "unwillingness to settle keep me alone". in that problem is your solution, maybe.

I'm very new to this forum but have to say that I can relate to all the various discussion points regarding methoduski's post and the follow-up comments. The motivations of people and, to some degree, even myself in relationships throughout my life has been fuzzy and, in even the best circumstances, not well defined. Having relationships is like operating a floor buffer - you can try to steer them (for lack of a better term) but they'll just run into the wall. If, instead, you just lightly hold on and go with the flow following the light movement back and forth without really pushing or guiding the machine works like a dream and floats along with no more the the effort of your smallest finger. The term arrogant and other terms were referred to in this thread and so I humbly post the following video for consideration ... I have purchased his book and behold my life and ways of thinking were contained within its pages. Before anyone is offended ..... the term "narcissist" is not particularly negative in all cases and everyone is, to some degree, narcissistic as part of normal (or sometimes abnormal) ego functioning. There are many various shades and types - some functionally more healthy than others.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2aYZv_FR2U

Thoughts methodski?

Used to have this experience before finding the best option on every dec 31st. After 8 pm, i spend time alone meditating and reflecting my life in the previous years (including what todo next). Then the feelings are all gone. No expectations No loneliness....

Well I believe that there are people out there who will love having someone like you but just don't go searching,just be searched. The best friendship is not planned, it just happens.

maybe you look in the wrong places to find that someone you really looking for..
being lonely is not a good feeling.... goodluck...

why u so lonely

I'm sorry to say this... but judging from just your story... you seem arrogant...
But since I don't know you... I can't say you actually are.

Fair enough assessment. But as you do not know me you cannot say if I actually am. I am not arrogant, just expect more of society. We pride ourselves (USA) as being the best nation but we do nothing to help one another on a daily basis. We do not go out of our way to help someone across the street, push a broken down car out of traffic, get some one something and not expect anything in return. I am opinionated, not arrogant. I feel people can do more than they do. I expect more of people because I know they are capable of more. Most of society has become concerned only with themselves and rarely try to help another. I am the type of guy to buy a coworker lunch if I know they are strapped for cash, change a tire for a stranger, pay for some gas for a complete stranger that might need some. Call me arrogant but I am more compassionate, caring, and genuine than most people you will find. I offer assistance without hesitation and never get anything in return. I always offer a shoulder to cry on but am without a shoulder whenever I need one. So arrogant, no, striving to find a group of people with shared interests who truly understand me, yes.

I'm sorry... but now I'm only more convinced you are arrogant :/
But with that I'm not saying you are a bad person, or that I dislike you (Although I have to admit I don't like arrogant people)
But you sound kinda full of yourself...
I hope you don't take this as offensive... but I try to be honest with you. Especially since you seem to appreciate honesty much.
I actually am not from the USA or have ever been there. But I think your opinion also counts for other parts in the world (if not, the whole world).
And I think you are right about the fact that people could do more for each other. But there actually are a lot of people who help others every now and then, with nothing in return. You are saying like they don't exist...
but many people help others every now and then... including strangers.

I never said there weren't people out there that didn't help others, nor that I was the only one. I know there are many people out there willing to lend a helping hand but they are in the minority when you look at the fact there are 7 billion people on the planet.. I was merely mentioning that I am genuine and caring and expect nothing in return for my efforts. So how do my acts of kindness and genuine efforts to help people, along with having higher expectations of society, and the need to be intellectually stimulated make me arrogant?

The fact that you can't seem to shut about how good of person you are makes me think you are arrogant...
It shows me how full you are about yourself. How you love that you feel like a better person then most people on this planet. How you look down on the people who aren't as kind or intellectual stimulated as you.

Those thoughts run through me when I read your story and comments.
But I don't know if this really reflects how you are in real life as well...
Maybe... you should just try and ask someone you trust, someone of who you have the feeling (s)he knows you. and ask for their honest opinion about you... and if they think you are arrogant.
I can only judge by what you post online.

LOL you really are not helping me here. On here, yes, I mention my contribution to society for the people to understand the type of person I am. I am in no way trying to flaunt my efforts or say that I am better than anyone else. In person I am more reserved. I don't share much information about myself unless solicited. I do not love to feel like a better person than the rest of society but it does sicken me the way that society in general treats others. Yes, there are exception where people bend over backwards for others but it does not occur as much as it should. In person I am honest. I believe in telling the truth. People do not like hearing the truth which leads them to assume I am an a**hole, or as you put it "arrogant". I am sorry that honesty is not a trait that many people appreciate anymore, though I do appreciate yours as you have nothing to lose by being honest to a complete stranger on the internet. As for people that truly know me, there really are none. Most people know one part of me, few know all of me. One person knows who I truly am and appreciates that I am who I am. That was the NYE date that stood me up last night, but I don't blame her. She is easily manipulated by her sister and feels that she needs to compete. She is also a little mentally unstable (an admission which doesn't help my argument) and has social anxiety. She was my best and only friend but is a habitual liar and I can no longer handle the lies. So now, without my best friend, the person who truly knows me and appreciates me for who I am, I feel lost.

I appreciate honesty....but like all good things even it has to respect timing. Are you sure this is about honesty. It seems to me that 20PercentHipster is voicing an opinion and you keep running in circles about being nice. That's pretty close-minded :/

I understand how you feel and agree with you that people are not as willing to help, nor do they help as much as they should or are capable of. Personally, it makes me feel better as a human if there's any little way that I can do anything to help someone else. The people that do help or are willing to are in the minority which makes me sad ... and somewhat angry. I'm in a tough situation but still look for opportunities to help people. I know that no matter how bad I have it (or think I have it), there's ALWAYS someone who has it worse than me or is in a worse situation than me. I try to be kind and stay humble and not judge anyone 1) because it's the right thing to do and 2) because I would want others to be that way. I have been judged a lot in my life and that is one reason I refuse to judge others. It's also not my place to. I only know if I see someone who needs a helping hand and I'm able to help, I actually WANT to help...even if it's only bringing a smile to someone's face or saying or doing or sharing something that may make them laugh. I used to work at the largest theme park on earth and making people smile and helping people always made my day better and I only hope it made their day better too. I think if more people thought the way you do, this world would be a much better place. Just my 2 cents worth. Best wishes to you and don't worry about what others think. Just do what feels right to you in your heart and what makes you happy. You seem like a very good hearted person. Good luck in all your future endeavors.

I completely and utterly despise that argument: "because someone else has a worse time". I can explain why in such a way that you may just understand my point of view. If everyone is only as happy about himself as much as the least happy person.....and only works on him/herself as much as the least happy person. We would ALL be the least happy least growing person. Life would be COMPLETELY and UTTERRLY $hit! So please be a little more careful about blindly caring. You may just end up hurting.

People say they want others to be honest and that it is a good trait, but I find that when I am honest with people, it tends to put them on the defensive and/or make them angry. I personally think morals, values and integrity have gone by the wayside (for the most part). We can only try to be the best person we can be and not worry about what others think. I'm pretty lost in my situation right now but it still does not keep me from thinking about how I can and do help others or those who have it worse than I do. I don't find your way of thinking arrogant. I see it was honest and open and I for one, appreciate honesty and sincerity. Again, just my 2 cents worth...

See now you're making sense. I can respect what you're saying here a lot more than the previous words ;)

But what 20PercentHipster was saying is not to be ignored. There ARE good people out that if you can just open your eyes and see them. It's not ok to bash morals and say it's not there because you're hurting the people that matter, even more so now.

And my views include that helping myself is also a means to helping others. By improving myself and making the best me I can be .... and I always tell others to do the same.....I will improve my environment.... I will radiate myself.... and I can inspire in some times even...that may just be the most wonderful. I should hope that will happen once more.....these are the things people forget .... and they think that working on yourself is being selfish....that caring for yourself is ignoring the less fortunate. Do not fall for that fallacy it is flawless at failing you

Hah sorry! It's my flair for the dramatic playing up :D.

You can safely assume I meant nothing as a direct personal attack towards you as a person and I can agree with several things you say.

But please , please don't assume you know me. I love the thought , I honestly do, but you have no idea what I'm like. And that's just fine the way it is. I see you're being nice....well I assume you are... when you say you feel sorry for me. But to me that's an insult......I thought I should mention that since we're being honest and everything ;)

Indeed best of wishes to you, may all the happiness you deserve cross your path!

hi, we can try talking, just if you want to.. :)

stop the scrutiny you have no idea why your even indulged here or to make such an inept assessment with a person whether they're on edge or just equivocal please consider a little compassion before you toss harsh words in the mud in no way do you even have a precedent to make an assessment beginning with the word arrogant or even articulate a hyperbole to let this person how you sorely and indirectly want to propagate they're confidence youre only destroying it by trying to be a hard headed contrarian when this person is obviously hurting show a lil' empathy next time instead of displacement i mean really shame on you

oh but confronting with even your tone or inflection here just is senseless

and im pointing out totalloser3282 because you just being a let down you dont know the situation this guy could impulsive so think before you type and no offense to the writer of the this story i'm offering my consolation for how you feel

Big booty girl, thank you for pointing out total loser3282. Now I understand why he has that name; he really is a total loser and I refuse to even dignify any of his hateful, vile and condescending comments with a response. Total loser indeed. People like him are what's WRONG with this world and they always screw up things for other people and always twist other people's words around. How hilariously sad.

it saddens me when one person shows how vulnerable they are or can be and another just flagrantly steps on them i hope you all know that strangers can still develop/restore a trusting faith/relation in others n this world i mean talk to me total loser if you're feelings of insecurity want to make you lash out senselessly again bc we need unity not disorder #phoenix

Boom... im he same way but I changed myself to many times to settle for someone

I agree someone has it worse so I should feel better thats terrible

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