What Can I Do

should I stay or should I go?I feel like God is preparing me for the worst and I don't want to go to that place. I've been there before and I feel it coming again. I can't handle one more empty day of crying and being this hollow shell.the loneliness engulfs my every cell ... my every thought... my every word. I'm tired of looking at my baby and praying that she would have a better mom.. a better life. whatever it is I do . it will be for the greater purpose
Oliviaxgrace Oliviaxgrace
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 5, 2013

You poor thing. I know what you are going through. I am 61 yrs old and am going through another overwhelming horrible event in my life that I can't seem to handle. The pain dealing with all this makes suicide the only allternative to escape the pain. Every waking day is harder and harder for me to deal with and I just wish I never woke up. Sleeping is the only escape for me, that and death. I think constantly of death and ways to do it. I don't want to do this but see no way out of the pain. The people that called themselves my friends have long disapeared the moment they knew I needed help... They don't want to get involved. Please try to get counseling with someone... In the past this worked for me, however, the healing process from mental issues can be a long process taking days, weeks and months to rememdy themselves. But it can be done and you will find a bright spot shinning in the dark. You will have made it. My issue is I got a 2 Dui and have had my liscence suspended for 3 yrs with no hardship driving possible. I am in the country and feel trapped, isolated and sit in this home alone day after day thinking and thinking, crying and crying. The very thing that gives me sanity is taken away. I am very alone and feel very scared. I can't imagine just living in isolation with no one but your thoughts while life goes on for everybody else. I will pray that God will hear my pleas, so far he has not responded.