The Terrible Things About Me...

1. i love attention. i live for it. it's not an addiction, just an occasional craving.
2. I am a very clingy person. so please don't mess with me, i am not here for pretentious relationships nor to satisfy your ridiculous fetish. because chances are, if you tell me you like me, ill like you too. and when you say you love me ill tell you i love you too. its this default setting of mine. why? because im lonely as hell and i am constantly trying to fill up this void in my heard but some things are to be left as they are. it all always end up with me picking up the pieces of my heart yet again and trying to glue it all back together.
3. this is a fictitious world. i realize that. roleplay is stupid.
4. i do not post or send pictures of myself. simple as that. call me a fake, call me a liar. honey ive been called worse i think i can take a few second-grade comebacks.
5. if you look like crap and you ask me how you look, ill tell you straight. however, i rarely have the heart to come up out of nowhere and tell you u look like crap, thats just uneccesary.
6. my loneliness and problems are permanant. don't walk into my life thinking your gonna sweep me off my feet and take me away. if that is your intention, please swerve and leave me alone. i am not a princess that needs to be saved. i locked MYSELF up in this tower to keep idiots like YOU out of my life. you can't save me. you can't protect me. you can't love me. because i promise to send you 2 feet back every time youve gone another foot up my tower. because i cant get hurt again.
DivineStitches DivineStitches
26-30, F
4 Responses Jan 11, 2013

I know you and I like you so what gives? :P

I'm pretty sure you be ok. I'll be here to talk to if you need. Your not alone.

thank u

I relate to what u say on so many levels except I don't have mpd.
I understand quiet a bit about the condition though as my best friend has it and I spend most of my days and nights with her when she is going through the hell that she does.
If we are friends I can tell you we will be friends for a very long time. I am an only child and the friends I have most have been for 30-40 years and my friends on ep I am always honest with and what u read is how I am.
I have no time for playing games or playing with peoples emotions.

There are way too many really hurting people out there and I have a heart for the lonely, why? because I know what it feels like and it sometimes eats at you.
What's worse is when you live with someone and like last night I had 18hrs and nobody spoke to me I am not seen and not heard. Easier to be on my own and then there's no hurt. Anyway I could blah blah blah for hours as I love writing but would be a genuine friend if you looking for one.
Hope you having a good day today.

thank you, and its always nice to have a friend. i hope ur day goes well too

19 people have read this and you scared the crap out of 18.
But I am gonna reply to you. Because you can't hurt me or save me either. Especially since you're not coming out of your tower. And no I can't save you....I'm trying to save myself.
And no I don't look like crap, I look like a tidal wave.
And I like blunt honesty when necessary. But not to the point of pushing people away. And I should know, some have said I invented that maneuver.
Reply back if you want. I'll talk.

tahahah it wasnt aimed at anybody specific. just everyone in general i supose

I know. And it seemed to have worked. Was that just you venting?
You feel any better this morning?

yeah well ive got multiple PD and that one (the one who wrote it) is the very paranoid protective one. i feel fine (ive been feeling fine) but i guess she hasnt

How do you control it? Or can you control it? I'm NOT trying to be insulting, I just don't think I've ever talked to anybody with mpd. Did you let HER write last night's posting?
And if that is not something you want to talk about, that's fine.

i don't control it. shes the protective personality so for the most part she can do as she pleases

Is it dangerous? Like do you snap into another personality without warning? And again, if this is too personal, I'll understand if you don't want to talk about it. Someone had plenty to say last night, so you pick something you want to talk about.
And I'm not insensitive about this, so if I address something incorrectly, it's not intentional.

well it happens without warning but usually at convenient times unless i feel endangered

I am replying to this not to hurt, but to help....I have 7 alters inside.

MY Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D., previously M.P.D. - Multiple Personality Disorder) was formed as a result of "intolerable" abuse for my psyche so "another" (frequently referred to as an alter) is/was present so that I didn't have to be.

D.I.D. may occur as a result of other "intolerable" situations.
The one that is present may OR may not exclusively have the memories of the incidents so that they protect the psyche from the pain of them.
One or more "others" (alters) can be "created" so that the psyche is not subjected to the situation.

Alters may OR may not have specific "jobs". Though in my case, 5 do, and 2 do not. One of them, as is common, is the Protector.

As far as switching, many times it is without warning, and may OR may not be controlled. It is hoped that it is appropriate to the situation that the body is in.

For some, BUT NOT ALL, have the ability to be co-conscious. This means, IN MY CASE, that while one of the others are out, I may OR may not be "in the passenger seat". This is like seeing what is happening, but not able to do anything about it, hence the alter that is out is "driving".

Also, some MAY have the ability to communicate with some or all the alters internally.

LASTLY, I have had my 5 year old come out while driving down the highway at 65mph and thought that he was flying. I was able to get him (through thought) to get him to come back in. How can a 5 or 8 year old drive? Well, there are some things that the body does autonomously or automatically; such as eating or drinking. Also, anything that is done for a long time becomes a habit.
An example of this is when you drive some where and yet when you arrive, you don't remember driving. SOME may consider this an extremely small episode of DID.

I hope that this will answer all the questions that may have resulted on this subject. Further information can be found by Googling "dissociative identity disorder".

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