Anger Issues

i complain too much. i don't know why. i seem to always be unhappy about my life but when i look at it from a different point of view, it's great. I had come to this site to look for friends, which is odd because in reality i am a very unfriendly person. and now i realize what a mistake that was. it can't possibly end well.
because the thing is, people are usually very different than they seem on the internet. me, i don't laugh nearly as much as i type lol. im not all that bubbly either. in fact, if anything, i'm boring. im an observer, not an entertainer.
but what i like about here is that i don't have to be boring and dull and quiet. i think im like that in real life because i get so scared about the little things people will say about me. not because it will hurt my feelings or anything. but i'm scared of how i will react to it. because sometimes the smallest things can set me off. but im not one of those people that start cussing and all that crap. no. when i'm mad i turn cold. heartless. (which is, btw, the best way to get people to NOT like you) but then afterwards i realize what a waste of time and energy it all was, what an embarrasment. but by then its always too late.
see, most people would think being observant would give me a bit of an advantage in life. and yes, i can usually examine situations and predict every possible outcome and reaction that come from it. but my temper usually still gets the best of me.
and so here i am, complaining.
actually, what i seek is adnice. does anybody else have this problem? can you please help me?
DivineStitches DivineStitches
26-30, F
5 Responses Jan 15, 2013

In real life, I am an observer as well. When I go somewhere, the first thing I do is observe and assess my surroundings. Especially the people. One ability I have is the ability to read people very quickly and very accurately. And because of this ability, like you, I can usually predict how someone will act or react to various circumstances and situations. I'm not very good at integrating myself into a group dynamic. Not because I'm naturally unfriendly or standoffish, it's because I'm just not a "center of attention, look at me" type person. I'm actually a very witty and funny person with a great sense of humor once you get to know me. But most people don't get to know me because I'm not very good at being a "social ice-breaker" in person. (I'm also new at this online stuff). And recently life has not been very kind to me so my funny side with the sense of humor hasn't shown itself for quite some time.
One thing I'm cautious about when dealing with online people is, when someone online describes themselves as "outgoing" or "the life of the party" or "a people person", I automatically view that with skepticism. Those are not characteristics of people who generally go to the internet for companionship. To me, it's a red flag. And I cannot read people online like I can in person.
In real life, I have a rule for relating to people especially people I don't know or don't know well. I allow them to dictate the relationship. This may seem passive but really its not. For example, if someone in a store is nice to me, well I'll be nice back. If they're a jerk, I'll be a bigger jerk. If they rudely treat me like I don't exist, I'll make sure they know I do exist. It works for me.
Anyway, I guess this reply is partly advice, and partly describing a little about me. If any of this helps...great. If any of it is interesting...good. If you don't care...oh well.

lol i like that rule it seems fair

The fact that you're thinking you're heartless is probably an indication that your not. sounds like a shielding mechanism. Sometimes interactions with people just hurt. You don't get what you give so you try to go numb instead. Sometimes it works - but if you were really numb you wouldn't be lonely.

good point, thank u

You sound exactly like me

Yup,sounds like me, I could use some advice about that as well :/

Sounds like me too