I get straight a's. I participate in multiple extracurricular activities. I study and I get stressed. I'm quiet.
That's all a lot of people know me as, so they automatically assume I'm Ms. Goody Two-Shoes. I absolutely hate this.
I want to prove to all of them that I'm not, but I also like having a private life that not a lot of people know about.
I just get so frustrated because everyone thinks I'm a snitch, prude, or stuck-up priss. I'm not.
I go out. I get drunk. I get high. I have sex. I skip school. Half of me wants to let everyone know that, while the other half screams not to do it. It'll ruin your reputation and might decrease your chance at a good scholarship.
I get so incredibly irritated and stressed because everyone just groups me in with the socially awkward kids not even considering who I actually am.
I hate the nerdy group. They are so incredibly stuck up. If I even mentioned going out and partying, they would die of absolute shock.
I just don't understand why I have to be in any stereotype. I'm just your average angsty teenage girl who is trying to get into a good college so I can have a successful future.
That's what puts me in the Ms. Goody Two-Shoes category. I try. I'm constantly retaking the ACT hoping for that perfect score. I'm constantly doing extra credit and redoing assignments so I can stay at the head of my class. I plan for my future, not my present.
I hate this category most of all because I'm lonely. I don't fit in with any of the "cliques" in our high school. I don't even fit in with the people I party with. I have no boyfriend to lay in bed with. I have no friends to talk to.
I lack human contact completely. I'm so determined and focused on my school work that I forget I have human needs such as touch or laughter.
Then, I get in this rut of depression constantly reminding myself that I have no one but my schoolwork. It's sad and pathetic. I'm sad and pathetic.
vicspen vicspen
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 22, 2013

You're not pathetic :)

I have found that finding a passion, something that inspires you to make a difference in this world can snap you right out of a depressive state. After all, people like to feel like their lives have meaning and that they are needed in this world :)

What gave me that sort of meaning was veganism and animal rights. It's like it woke me up and awakened my inner empathy. In a world that is becoming more and more apathetic, a resurgence of empathy, connection, and being aware of social issues (and then doing something about them!)would help create a world we'd all like to live in.

Anyway, this speech inspires a lot of people to make a difference in this world, I suggest you check it out.