Broken But Not Beaten

it's been a while since I actually posted anything on here. though this was one of the first groups I joined, I having post anything to it.
I've always been pretty lonely. I was adopted after about 5 yrs of being with my bio mother. at the time, we were jumping from home to home, and sometimes had to stay in homeless shelters. my 4 siblings and I were taken by child services, and after a year of bouncing around in the system, my mother's brother stepped up and adopted all of us. he pretty much saved our lives, and I have the grandest respect for him. after another two years, my eldest siblings ( a brother and sister) ran away. I was heartbroken, and stayed a very quiet, sad little girl for all my childhood. when I was 12, my other two siblings ( another sister and brother) began to act out. my brother, who was the only person in the world who could make me laugh, began losing control over us anger, and often took it out on me. he then began go get in trouble with the law, and ended up in juvenile hall for a year before returning home, and running away shortly after that. my sister, who was my only confidant, became boy crazed and and drug crazed ( the two generally go hand in hand I think) . she began to use me against our father (adoptive) and convinced me to take the blame for many of the bad thongs they both had gotten into. I was nothing more the a play thing and tool to her. she too ran away, when I turned 14. the whole time, their actions and attitudes made it nearly impossible for my father to give me any attention, so my problems and I slipped past him. I had begun to suffer from severe depression and Trich at an early age without him noticing, and by this time, my problems had become out of control. afterwards my father treated me like I was something horrible, and like I was to blame . he distrusted me, and became far more strict then he ever had been with my siblings. it took a therapist, and a special needs boarding school to start healing our relationship and myself. now I'm 21, I have major trust issues, but I'm far more independent and goal oriented then anyone had expected from me. I refuse to become anything like my siblings or mother. and I refuse to let their betrayals make me into someone who is bitter and cruel like it did my father.
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1 Response Jan 23, 2013

Sorry to hear that you had it so tough whilst growing up, one can only imagine the emotional anguish you had to face through all of that, despite all of this I'm very pleased to read that you're making a strong effort to overcome those past trials and work towards some goals, keep at it and stay true to yourself.

Take care.