Register

I Am Lonely

Help Wanted

By: maskedemotions
Written on February 2nd, 2013
Have you ever had that moment where you felt like you just don't care anymore? Where you wouldn't really mind if you never existed at all? Lately, that's what I've been feeling. 

Everyday, I try to convince myself that I'm okay, that I'm cool with being alone, that I don't mind looking like a lost puppy trying to find a place to sit in at lunch. But the truth is, I'm just lying to myself when I say that.

I realized that I was not okay when there was a time that I got really sick and I had to go to the hospital alone having no one to accompany me. I was feeling really horrible at that time and when I was at the hospital, I couldn't take it anymore I vomited and nearly fainted. Thankfully, one of the hospital workers came over and helped me and took me to the doctor immediately.

That's when I realized that no one is there for me. I am alone. There are no prince charmings, fairy godmothers and knights in shining armor who'd help me in times of need. Only me. That's the sad truth.

Everyday, I pray to God that he'd give me a friend, that he'd help me get through the day unscathed. But the thing is, God can only give me opportunities. I have to be the one to take action. Maybe I should have just asked God for courage instead? What should I do to help myself?
By: maskedemotions
Age: 16-17
133 people have read this story

Your Response

Please respond with authenticity, support, and respect
By clicking "Post", you confirm that you agree to the Terms of Service of Experience Project, Inc.
11 responses
  • Frenel
    Frenel

    Yes, I've had days where I just don't care anymore, and went to bed wishing that I'd never wake up. Our connections to other people are probably THE most important thing in our lives. We need air, water, food, and shelter to keep us alive, sure, but it's our relationships with other people that keep us going. No one was made to completely and utterly alone. It's impossible to do. Coming here and opening up is a good start though.

    Feb 3
    2 likes
    • Frenel
      Frenel

      If you're going to school, you could join a few clubs, or take up some new interests. If you like the arts, maybe you can join the theater. Theater people seem to be very friendly, gregarious, and spirited. Acting could draw you out of your shell. Not that you have a shell to break out of, but it just seems that way to me. Is that wrong of me to assume? Anyway, I'm saying get more involved, and if you ever need a table to eat lunch, feel free to join me. ;)

      Feb 3
      1 like
    • maskedemotions
      maskedemotions

      Thanks! :) You're right though, I'm really really shy. I did join our school's paper at some point but I didn't really fit in. Another problem with me is that my voice is barely audible even though I do try to speak louder, so that kinda rules out any club that would involve speaking. :( I'd really like to be more involved though, but I guess I don't have it in me yet.

      Feb 5
      1 like
  • Kylox
    Kylox

    It's true we get hurt when trust is destroyed, however, we must learn from our mistakes, we need to try again and apply what experience teached us.

    There has to be someone capable to be there for us.

    Feb 3
    2 likes
  • Lilly292
    Lilly292

    Feel free to friend me. If you want to talk,I'm here. Don't let any of my photos trouble you. I crossdress in secret. I guess it's a coping mechanism.

    Sending you huge hugs and lots of love.

    Lilly P.S. If you want, feel free to use my given name Mike.

    Feb 2
    2 likes
    • patriciacd
      patriciacd

      maybe you will accept my friend request

      Feb 2
      1 like
    • maskedemotions
      maskedemotions

      thanks :) don't worry, I don't mind.
      I tried adding you to my circle but it says can't add, why? :(

      Feb 3
      1 like
  • peachesandplums
    peachesandplums

    hang in there..stay optimistic that things will get better. pm if you want to talk

    Feb 2
    2 likes
  • thepictureofmylife
    thepictureofmylife

    There are so many lonely people in this world and it makes me wonder why it's still so hard to find a friend. I have no advice for you because I'm of the same kind. Sometimes I even think that I've forgotten how to be friends with someone and I'll never remember it again and because of this I'll never be able to be a friend even if I come across the right person.
    Just keep going, keep holding on. Find something new and interesting that will take your thoughts away from self-pity and depression. You'll find someone some day, for sure. Just have patience.
    And feel free to message me if you ever need a person to talk to.

    Feb 2
    2 likes
  • lilylilyrose
    lilylilyrose

    Oh, your post means a lot to me. I too had to take myself by myself to the hospital (the ER), what a lonely and sad experience. I wish I was there to go with you. If you lived nearby I would pick you up and drive you and stay by your side. Can I please do that in spirit for you? I think it would help me heal.

    Feb 2
    2 likes